Golazo! 2 Review (Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 4 & PlayStation 5)

If I had a penny for every time my older brother either nutmegged me and scored the winning goal in FIFA Street, or fly-kicked a ball at my forehead and claimed eternal bragging rights in Mario Strikers, then I’d probably have enough to develop my own career in the sport. Suffice it to say that, when it comes to articulating a winning formula in football, I’m not that good at devising world-breaking strategies that boast the “secret” ingredient for succeeding out on the field. Rather annoyingly, the fact that I’m unable to manifest such unbreakable rosters and play-ups does make me a poor excuse for a soccer coach in Golazo 2. Challenge accepted, though, I guess?

In spite of the countless losses and grazes I had to take to the cheek during my adolescent years, I was able to learn one important lesson through the thick of it all: you don’t need to be a seasoned soccer player in order to humiliate another player. Matter of fact, you don’t need to know anything about soccer at all to rake up a few consecutive victories; like Tekken, you just sort of need to know how to mash buttons and repeat the same two or three combos. And that same half-baked method translates rather well in Golazo! 2, as well, weirdly enough.

It’s been four years since Purple Tree first outlined the blueprints for its souped-up arcade entrée, and so, to say that the ground rules are still relatively fresh in my mind wouldn’t be too far from the truth. But, as always, I’m getting ahead of myself, so let’s rewind it back to the beginning—to the moment when I first tied my shoelaces and hit the asphalt running, hell-bent on reigniting a former sibling rivalry.

A Pitch Without Rules

Let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room here: Golazo! — it isn’t your traditional football game—at least not to the extent where you’d find a tapestry of rules and regulations, or even a referee, for that matter. No, this is a product that descends from an entirely different breed, and it doesn’t take a great deal of time to realize that, as far as real-life emulations of the sport go, this isn’t a direct replica of FIFA, but rather, an arcade-style iteration that goes above and beyond to abolish the general rules of the pitch and, in turn, create something slightly less formal, or even morally correct, oddly enough.

Golazo! 2 serves up a slew of modes to work through: a quick match option, which basically speaks for itself; a world league mode, which allows you to select one of several international teams and romp through a series of cups and seasonal bouts; and a street mode, which is, in short, a 3v3 version of the same game, only with a roster of unique and, at times, oddly grotesque characters. Regardless of the mode you choose to opt for, each match plays out in a similar fashion: you boot the ball across a medium-sized pitch, and score goals. Again, it’s football, and thus, a pretty self-explanatory game that doesn’t need to much of a formal introduction — even for those without the slightest clue of how it unfolds.

Like a lot of street-type football games, Golazo! 2 doesn’t bathe beneath an umbrella of strict rules; on the contrary, it gives you the freedom to break the mold and throw caution to the wind, which is something of a double-edged sword, weirdly enough.

Football For Small Folk

Golazo! 2 centers itself around a bite-sized pitch, and therefore, standard regulations don’t necessarily apply in any of the three available modes. Needless to say that, when it comes to physically taking possession of the ball and scoring goals, passes need to be quick, and split-second decisions need to be made in order to develop a higher chance of scoring a winning goal. But there’s a problem here: the AI characters — they don’t often know what they’re doing, let alone what’s happening in the routine that you may or may not have previously conceived ahead of the whistle. Thankfully, though, this isn’t always the case; its online mode plays out slightly differently, thus making it easier to connect the dots and make short work of on-target goals.

It goes without saying at this point, but I would like to address the fact that, from a technical standpoint, Golazo! 2 isn’t exactly fluid. Case in point, shots often fail to arrive at the predetermined destination, and other players often fail to make contact with the ball, despite having it handed to them on a silver platter and from a mere stone’s throw away. As a result of this, the gameplay can be a little finicky, and can ultimately bog down what would otherwise be a genuinely fun and exciting arcade experience. Perhaps it’s nitpicking at this point, but the fact that I, for one, often fell at the last hurdle due to some technical oversight did, in all honesty, detail the momentum and leave me feeling more frustrated than disheartened.

A Drizzle of Neon

One of the standout features of Golazo! 2 is its art style: it’s a bit of a mixed bag, if anything, though it does create something of a talking point that helps separate it from other games of its kind. Aside from it sporting a ludicrously large coating of neon, it also features a distinctive design that’s both unique in its own right, as well as oddly memorable, for better or worse. Like flicking through the pages of a comic book, each segment of the story relies heavily upon vibrant colors and in-your-face animations—two things that tend to go hand-in-hand when it comes to arcade favorites, for sure. But that isn’t to say that it’s a real sight for sore eyes; it isn’t likely to please every player and their neighbor, as it does require a certain type of attention span that, quite frankly, you wouldn’t necessarily need elsewhere.

Of course, Golazo! 2 isn’t a game that takes itself too seriously, as made evident by its oddly misshapen egos and wacky gameplay mechanics. On that note, it wouldn’t be fair to compare it with the likes of FIFA or  PES — because it’s nothing of the sort, despite its thematic nature and connection with real-life, albeit caricature-like versions of genuine teams that flesh out some of the most prolific sporting leagues in the world. The question is, is it a good football game? In ways, yes — but it’s hardly something that I’d refer to as hat-trick material. Is it a better version of the original that launched back in 2020? Meh — I’m not convinced.

Verdict

Having slugged through the original chapter in the arcade series, I can safely say that, as far as sequels go, Golazo! 2 isn’t so much a step in the right direction as it is a major lunge to the side. On one hand, it does manage to amplify a lot of the first game’s core features—its neon-drizzled visuals and control mechanisms, being two of the defining points—but on the other, it often falls flat when it comes to AI-generated animations and other mechanical effects. For example, when you make a bid to compete against offline competitors, a lot of the players tend to get lost in their own train of thought—a downfall that often results in the game being somewhat one-sided and brain dread. And unfortunately, this does dampen the overall experience — more so for those who’d soon rather test their mettle in an offline environment.

As luck would have it, the online portion of the game does perform a lot better than its counterpart, though this is mainly due to the fact that players can, essentially, outsmart the AI and manipulate the mechanics to their advantage. Granted, it’s still a little sluggish, and it does often take some getting used to, but it’s still an entertaining little number that’s far better suited for short bursts of play with local friends than anything else. Is it a worthy spiritual successor for the likes of FIFA Street and several other cult favorites from the late nineties? Not quite, though I can say that, in spite of all its technical flaws and graphical shortcomings, it does manage to produce some pretty good content. With that said, it doesn’t quite hold a candle to its adversaries; if anything, it only just about finds a box to strike the match.