You know what they say: if you've seen one rifle — you've seen 'em all. Well, unless you're playing Action Man on PlayStation One, then that technically isn't true. And now that I think about it — even Action Man had its fair share of loaded rifles and melee weapons. But that's beside the point. The fact is, all weapons are vibrant and unique, with each offering some level of originality in one way or another, be it on the scope of a Longshot or the tip of a barb-wired hockey stick. And, as time marches on, those weapons are only continuing to evolve and become even more outlandish.
Over the years, we've seen weapons come by the truckload. We've quite literally rifled through hundreds (if not thousands) trying to assemble the perfect arsenal, and we've spent more time customizing them than we'd probably like to admit. But that's normal — especially when some weapons practically beckon for you to wield them. And as unusual as some may be, we often can't help but load them onto our belts and take them for a spin around the block. But with that said, some weapons do tend to stand out a little more so than others. Just take a look at these outlandish five, for example.
5. Dubstep Gun (Saints Row 4)
In light of Saints Row making a return for 2022, it seems like an appropriate time to round back to one of the series' most unorthodox weapons: the dubstep gun. Ah yes, dubstep — the music genre that pretty much dominated the world way back in 2013, around the same time Volition made the decision to fuse it into their arsenal. However, rather than doing the cliche thing of adding dubstep tracks into the customizable mixtape — they instead made it into a weapon. It's Saints Row — of course they did.
If shooting a rival gang member in the face with a sub-machine gun grew a little tiring, we were always able to whip out the dubstep gun and concoct a mind-boggling bassline. By doing so, we would quite literally fry the brains of anyone who listened and, in turn, cause them to explode right there on the sidewalk. Before bursting into shreds, of course, the unlucky targets were able to drop a beat and party like it was 1985. The power of dubstep, am I right? Evidently, it was pretty much to die for back in 2013.
4. Plush Toys (Dead Rising)
Whilst we could all sit around and argue over which weapon proved to be the most effective in Dead Rising, we'll instead just settle for something that wasn't dangerous at all, and yet, was still considered a weapon anyway. And no, I'm not referring to the abundance of house plants and traffic cones the mall stocked. In fact, what I'm referring to makes both of these look like ridiculously overpowered war machines. Plush toys. Who'd have thought, right?
Of all the things one can find in a shopping mall to drive back flock after flock of neck-biters, aimlessly swinging giant cuddly toys about just doesn't seem like the most efficient way to get the job done. And yet, when you're all out of gas in your lawnmower and you just can't find any extra pellets for your foam gun, then maybe, just maybe, that big teddy bear could prove somewhat useful. Hurl it at a zombie enough, of course, and you might just kill it. Again.
3. Mr. Toots (Red Faction: Armageddon)
There comes a point in every gamer's career where gazing down the scope of a generic rifle just doesn't inflict the same amount of excitement. It becomes drab and predictable, like clutching something we've had possession of for a century. And that's why we can't help but love seeing something completely out of the ordinary, like a rainbow beam-firing unicorn, for example. Didn't see that one coming, that's for sure.
Red Faction: Armaggedon was sure to cram in as many generic weapons as possible, all while keeping a certain nugget of fun buried behind the scenes for when its drama became a little too serious. And that nugget, in this case, is the unicorn, Mr. Toots. Armed with a weirdly powerful laser beam that ejects from a fart, the squealing creature packs one heck of a punch for anyone willing to take a firm hold of it. Or, him. How's that for outlandish?
2. Cow Launcher (South Park)
If you thought a grenade launcher had some kick to it, then clearly you haven't spent some time with the cow launcher, yeeting the poor things at angsty turkeys. But then, considering we're talking about South Park 64, a game that pretty much face-planted on launch over its diabolical effort of breaking into the first-person shooter clique — it comes as no surprise if you did happen to miss the beat. And yet, if you did skip it back then, then we can only implore you to dust off your Nintendo 64 and give it a whirl now — just for the cow launcher.
Being a South Park game, nothing is off limits. Farting on a rival's private parts for top secret information, probing one another for the sake of it — you name it, Parker and Stone have done it. However, the cow launcher definitely stacks high on their lengthy list of weapons. And yes, it is just a gun that launches cows. They explode on impact too, of course. I mean, why wouldn't they? Boom — outlandish.
1. Sheepinator (Ratchet & Clank)
Are you bored of leaving behind a room full of rotting corpses and severed body parts? Well, the good news is — you don't have to put up with that anymore. You don't even technically need to cause the mess, to begin with. You can, in fact, just turn them into sheep. That's right, a room full of sheep. How's that for entertainment?
Ratchet & Clank has had so many weapons over its healthy timeline that they eventually just started phasing out into the back end of our minds somewhere. Except for one, of course. That blasted Sheepinator, weirdly, still holds a presence at the forefront. Can't say why, but it probably has something to do with the fact it just turns foes into sheep. That's it. Foes…into sheep.
So, what outlandish weapons have you had in your arsenal lately? Let us know over on our socials here.