Turnip Boy Robs a Bank Review (Switch, Xbox Series X/S, Xbox One, Xbox Cloud Gaming, PC)

Duty calls (or crime?) Turnip Boy, cheekier than ever, is at it again, merely two days after his last escapade, committing tax evasion. If you haven’t played Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion, you might want to hop on over to that before tagging along on this one. While it’s not mandatory to play the prequel, it’s just seamless and smooth to come from ‘evading taxes’ into yet another federal crime bender robbing a bank. 

Unlike most video game series, developer Snoozy Kazoo is daring to make drastic genre changes in their second entry. You may remember Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion as more of a Legend of Zelda-like RPG. But in Turnip Boy Robs a Bank, you venture into the world of rogue-lite, with top-down bullet-hell shooting to boot. 

So, while you spend a good chunk of your time exploring, puzzle-solving, and uncovering hidden secrets in the prequel, the sequel takes a full-on combat approach. ‘In and out’ is the mantra here—no time for chit-chat and whatnot. Anyway, enough jibber jabber. Shall we get to what you’re here for? Here’s our deep-dive Turnip Boy Robs a Bank review.

Heist a Bank

So, a brief recap for newbies. Turnip, the main protagonist, is, in fact, an actual root vegetable. He speaks in punctuation and always has a permanent smirk on his face. Plenty went down in the prequel that turned Turnip’s home on its head—no thanks to Turnip. He inherits his father’s mafia throne and wastes no time committing atrocities all over Veggieville. 

He kills a literal god and does what no sane man dares—evading taxes. After defeating the final secret boss, a god onion, Veggieville begins to crumble under its weight. Soon, an apocalypse stares the veggie people in the face, and it’s where the sequel Turnip Boy Robs a Bank picks up from. 

Referencing the 48 Laws of Power, ‘create chaos to take advantage of the opportunity it provides,’ at the brink of the end of Veggieville, Dillitini, a fedora-wearing pickle and leader of the Pickle Gang, spots a rare opportunity to make bank and strikes while the iron is hot. He enlists the bulbous turnip in his dubious plan to pull off a heist at the Botanical Bank. 

Turnip the Heat

Being a rogue-lite, Turnip the Boy Robs a Bank reruns the same mission over and over. Die, and you’re hauled back to the start. You essentially win by beating the entire game in one run, which in this case is to, well, rob a bank. It’s not that simple, though. At the start, you spawn in the Botanical Bank. Your job is to loot as much as you can, with small wins to start and better rewards stacked away farther in the bank’s vault. 

Loot doesn’t just come from the cashier but from customers, too. So, you’ll be doing shake-downs on anyone and everyone you see for cash. Meanwhile, you’ll run into hostiles in the way of guards, where the combat picks up pace. Ideally, you’ll be doing the run around on guards as you empty safes and comb through different rooms for cash. You’ll also pick up extra goodies, like weapon drops from enemies.

All along, a timer counts down, with three minutes to start and longer rounds pending upgrades. When the time runs out, you’ll want to dash to the exit, dive into the getaway truck, and head off to summer land. Stick around, and a flurry of cops will consistently stream into the bank, pinning you down from all sides. If you’re too slick and somehow manage to stay alive, Stinky, the Garlic and bank owner, will unleash poisonous gas on you. Oh, and the gas will be impossible to escape and will eventually kill you.

Did You Know?

Before robbing a bank, the Professor in Money Heist advises having a backup plan. (Or does he?) Anyway, it may take some time to realize that you have a backup escape plan hidden for you. When the timer runs out, you can buy your ticket out of there. All you need to do is find a train and pay up.

With three escape plan options – easy, moderate, and challenging – it can get pretty high stakes choosing which one to go by. Your main goal is to stash as much cash and resources as you can. But when the timer runs out, which with 3 minutes to start counts down pretty quickly, you’ll need to find the most efficient escape route as fast as you can. 

The short run-through makes it the perfect pick-up-and-play to jump into when you want to kill some quiet afternoon time. And if the reruns happen to grow repetitive, which, let’s be honest, is a pain most rogue-lites suffer from, at least you’ll be getting out of the gameplay loop in the shortest time possible and in the roughly short five-hour-playthrough needed to complete the entire game.

Short and Sweet

Alongside a short run-through are the game’s randomized, procedurally generated levels. See, even though you’ll always rob the same Botanical Bank in each run, the individual rooms you’ll be looting randomize themselves. You never know what to expect, and so your experience remains fresh and engaging. Furthermore, each room opens up new gameplay. You may walk into rooms holding precious loot. But far more interesting are rooms with entirely new environments, enemies, and NPCs. 

As with the prequel, you’ll receive ridiculous side quests from NPCs that lead down hilarious paths. This time, thankfully, you have a quest log to keep track of side quests. A log comes in pretty handy if you lose track of side quests – some NPCs can send you down several hour-long expeditions. What’s left hanging, though, is NPC trackers. Looping in and out of randomized rooms, you chuck precious time tracking down NPCs; you hardly remember where you saw them last.

Outrageously Divine

If there’s one thing Turnip Boy Robs a Bank does right, it’s humor. Every conversation puts a smile on your face with hilarious puns, jokes, and pop culture references. Admittedly, some of it may fail to hit home, depending on your sense of humor, but for the most part, Snoozy Kazoo’s writing intrigues me. Speechless Turnip always responds with punctuation like “!!!,” and the others somehow always understand what he means. That alone sets Turnip Boy Robs a Bank apart from the crowd.

From fetching engagement rings for adorable berries to a carrot zapping horrific Frankenstein to life, Turnip Boy Robs a Bank’s storylines never grow old. What’s more? As you sink deeper and deeper into Botanical Bank’s rooms, you collect hilarious hats for your questing efforts and ridiculous weapons to boot. 

Sure, you’ll get your usual assault rifles and grenade launchers. But trudge further, and you unlock weirder and better weapons. C4 comes in handy when blowing up safes. A giant crystal sword can kill almost anything. But what of a cactus that shoots needles? A mushroom that fires deadly spores? Enemies will keep dropping outrageous artillery that quickly becomes your best friend. In time, you gradually streamline them into your go-to twin weapons and mould them into your unique playstyle.

Like a Boss

Turnip Boy Robs a Bank serves up four initial bosses to duke it out with and a final secret boss you unlock toward the end. Defeating each boss earns you a keycard, which grants you access to new areas of the bank. The bosses pose a fair challenge, testing your skill and willingness to try again. 

You’ll need to learn their moves and pre-plan by browsing through the dark web for skill and weapon upgrades, or buy them from the vendor at Dillitini's hideout. At the very least, the bosses, like the characters, are pretty hilarious-looking. The first boss looks like deep-fried fries… I think. 

Verdict 

Turnip Boy Robs a Bank feels like the perfect sequel you never knew you needed. It's chock-full of humor and gags outburst scenarios akin to the prequel Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion. However, it dares switch up genres and nails execution to the core. As a rogue-lite, Turnip Boy Robs a Bank packs lots of replayability. It keeps each run fresh with creative ideas and rewards you with wacky weapons and hats for your troubles. 

Capped at three minutes, each run never overstays its welcome, contrary to many rogue-lite games that can quickly grow on you. Perhaps that’s the secret to a fantastic rogue-lite, delivering a compelling campaign across a short playthrough that, by the time it wraps up, any frustration born out of repeating missions barely has room to fester. 

On the other hand, Turnip Boy Robs a Bank can feel like too much of a breeze for gamers who like a competent challenge. It kicks off fastening training wheels in the first hour; by then, you’ll have run into the first boss. It doesn’t help that the bosses after that feel somewhat like a piece of cake to get past. Rewards come easy to you, and upgrades are a breeze. Fortunately, the weapons and items you pick up are so wacky that it doesn’t hurt to scoop them up too soon. 

All in all, by the time the credits roll, you'll have let out a laugh or two. In that regard, Turnip Boy Robs a Bank feels perfect for anyone, but more so for the casual gamer looking to blow off some steam.