Postal: Brain Damaged Review (Switch)

There’s a good chance that you’ve already heard of Postal, if not for its lineage of crude humor and barbaric gore, then for its unusual ability to tap into some of the most basic concepts and, well, manipulate them into being highly controversial and, in the eyes of several nations, unfit for public consumption. As it turns out, Postal: Brain Damaged isn’t any different, as it more or less pilots most, if not all of the same components as the original series. Banned in New Zealand and Germany, Postal 2, being just one of those controversial titles, also, by some random miracle, went on to become one of the most widely recognized first-person shooters on the market. Go figure.

Postal isn’t one for being on the nose, nor it is the sort of thing that takes criticism to heart. If anything, it’s a middle finger to just about every seasonal trope and cliche out there, which is something of a double-edged sword, in ways; it doesn’t often sit well with the whole demographic, but it does, weirdly enough, amuse a select few who happen to label it as a cult classic—a branding that it has since adopted and chosen to sport for well over two decades. Needless to say that, when it came to taking chances, Postal was quick to slot all of its cards on the table and risk it all. And it paid off, tenfold.

It’s been a good year or two since CreativeForge Games picked up the slack and brought Running With Scissors’ Postal: Brain Damaged to consoles and PC. But this time, however, it’s sporting a newly refined and seemingly red-and-white coating for the Nintendo Switch. Interested in picking up a copy for yourself? Here’s what you should know before making the trip.

Hello Again, Dude

Postal: Brain Damaged marks the return of the infamous courier, POSTAL DUDE—a slightly masochistic, sadistic, and often chauvinistic slob who, unlike other folks of the trade, opts for an assault rifle over the traditional satchel and clipboard combo. Its premise is simple (simple for Postal, that is): there’s a courier, and a colorful imagination to slip into—an oddly disturbing dreamscape in which settings forever change and enemies vary from faceless sombrero-wearing humanoids to asylum patients. Like the original Postal, it aims to adopt a blueprint that’s both weird and occasionally offensive—two nodes that make up, well, Postal. It isn’t going to be for everyone — but it’ll certainly give you something to talk about, that’s for sure.

Brain Damaged is broken up into three original episodes, all of which feature a total of four stages and a dramatic boss fight. Your goal, as the acclaimed POSTAL DUDE, is to wipe the floor with your enemies, and shovel through a series of colorful backdrops and acid-infused locales—scenarios that only the likes of the courier could begin to fathom. Think DOOM, but with far fewer hellish settings, and more complex and drug-imbued effects, and you’ll have a vague idea of what it’s all about. And even then, words don’t really do it justice.

Aside from the wall-to-wall combat encounters that you have to slug through with an enormous array of weapons and projectiles (that’s urinating on someone, of course), there is also a series of other tasks to complete, such as locating a spool of toilet roll, and harvesting organs and slices of pizza for the odd pick-me-up. For the most part, though, it is merely the case of having to utilize your, you know, member, to wipe the slate clean. Simple, but not the least bit elegant.

Meet Your Doom

To address the elephant in the room — yes, Postal: Brain Damaged is a lot like DOOM. From its brash combat to its themed zones and occasional environmental puzzle, the game does, in fact, pay homage to DOOM: Eternal and its predecessors in more ways than one. And that’s fine, because, at the end of the day, anything that comes even remotely close to being a virtual clone of DOOM is going to be well-received — even if it is a caricature in itself.

Brain Damaged doesn’t take itself too seriously, and at no point does it aim to fill your head with moral dilemmas or thought-provoking conclusions. It is what it is, and it mainly thrives in its simplicity and natural ability to conjure inexplicable memories that’ll stick with you long after the bowels have been emptied and the final magazine has been bled dry. In other words, there are little to zero mature themes — only immature ones that correspond with crass one-liners and wacky ideas.

If you had high hopes of sinking your teeth into a first-person shooter with a lot of breadth, then you might be in for a surprise. As it turns out, the campaign is only three, maybe four hours long. Is this a little too short? Perhaps. Even still, it crams more than enough into its cavity to spawn plenty of memorable moments — even if said moments are mostly reflected in your ability to urinate on pedestrians. That’s Postal for you, though.

Hardly a Staple

I’m not going to beat around the bush with this one and call Postal: Brain Damaged a masterclass in shooters, because it’s far from it. With that said, at no point does it branch out to set the new benchmark, nor does it make false promises to deceive you into thinking that it’ll be more than what’s advertised on the tin, either. It is, more or less, a short “boomer shooter” that builds itself from the foundations of countless other games of its kind. The only real difference here, of course, is its blatant connection with the earlier Postal chapters that launched back in 1997 and 2003, respectively. So, whilst it won’t be gearing up to change the face of the genre anytime soon, it might generate enough nostalgia fodder for its target audience.

Speaking of target audiences, if you’re a fan of either High on Life, Serious Sam, Bulletstorm, or Conker’s Bad Fur Day, for that matter, then you’re sure to find something to enjoy here. If, however, crude humor and wizzing on civilians doesn’t exactly tickle your fancy, then you might want to seek shelter in a slightly less psychotic frame of mind. To put it bluntly, POSTAL DUDE isn’t the most stable of beings, nor are the web of dreams that he generates from the core of his violent tendencies. If you’re able to sweep that under the rug, then sure — go crazy.

Verdict

I think I speak for everyone when I say this: Postal: Brain Damaged isn’t going to be everybody’s cup of tea, nor is it going to make die-hard RPG fans swoon, either. However, for those who’ve a strong heart for crass humor and punch-drunk combat, it is arguably, for better or for worse, a pleasure to onboard, if only for short periods of time. Due to its structure and all-round aesthetics being unmistakably reminiscent of shooters from the 90s era, it’s easy to see why so many fans are keen to take the plunge, if not for the sake of clasping a minor fragment of nostalgia from their adolescence, then out of pure morbid curiosity and an in-depth look into a game that dares to push the boundaries beyond breaking point.

Whilst Brain Damaged isn’t on the same wavelength as its isometric predecessors, it does revitalize an old memory and spawn several new neurons to embellish it. It’s certainly no Postal 2, much less a spiritual successor to the earlier segments in the series, but when all’s said and done, it doesn’t need to be, either. The point is, the lore and credibility are already there, and therefore there’s little left to prove. It’s Postal, clear as day, and that’s sure to make a select number of consumers happy, regardless of its chosen blueprint or genre.

Anyway, if you are the type of gamer who can get a kick out of crude jokes and questionable behavior, then you’ll probably find Postal: Brain Damaged to your liking. Likewise, if you’re looking to return to the roots of the first-person shooter genre and load up on retro visuals and wall-to-wall combat, then naturally, you’ll no doubt enjoy a lot of the features Brain Damaged has to offer in its casket of components.