5 Unluckiest Video Game Characters of All Time, Ranked

I think we can all agree that video game characters aren't that lucky, period. I mean, with the obstacles that are hurled at them, as well as the lengths they're shoved through to reach a certain goal, it's rare that a simple venture winds up being rosy-cheeked and relatively painless. But then, there's a fine line between being the unluckiest person in the room, and being a magnet for every bad thing imaginable. And on that note, there are definitely a few names that drift towards the latter.

Of course, every video game character experiences a number of difficulties partway through a journey. It's in the very blood of the medium, and without it, there just wouldn't be a story to tell. But these five, on the other hand, just take the royal biscuit.

5. Conker (Conker's Bad Fur Day)

It should've been a simple affair, one that involved a few farewell drinks, a hazy stroll through the brush, and an unforgiving but remedial hangover. But it wasn't anything of the sort, as the cheeky protagonist Conker had to learn over a lengthy series of unlikely exploits. And, what should have been a simple walk home, rather unfortunately, spiraled into one of the most memorable adventures ever captured in a video game.

Conker's Bad Fur Day saw you traveling through lands plagued with faeces, war-torn beaches with corrupt gun-slinging teddy bears, gothic mansions filled with vampire squirrels, and even a prehistoric club scene with head-bopping cavemen. And that was just the cherry on the cake to an insanely hellbent ordeal. Believe us when we say, we still can't help but feel sorry for the red squirrel, even though he did deserve pretty much everything he had thrown at him. Most of it, anyway.

4. Ethan (Resident Evil 7/8)

Ethan's heart was in the right place. That much we knew from the get-go, seeing as his sole purpose in Resident Evil 7: Biohazard was to venture out to a gloomy plantation in search of his dearly beloved. But after arriving, it wasn't long before he had to face the brutal reality that his wife had taken a turn for the worse, slipping into an uncontrollable state with a sinister motive for murder.

One knife through the hand later, and Ethan went on to face countless burning Bakers, a ludicrous amount of unavoidable wounds, and a whole plantation chock-full of death-defying encounters. And what did it achieve? Well, nothing at all. His efforts later become void of any purpose, meaning his body endured a series of unfair disadvantages for absolutely zero gain. Unlucky? I mean, we wouldn't want him around us in the midst of a virus outbreak, that's for sure.

3. Princess Peach (Super Mario)

Old school literature will tell you that a princess getting kidnapped is the perfect setup for a children's tale. What's not entirely interesting is having to read that story cover-to-cover forty times over. But that's Super Mario, and Nintendo really isn't that fussed about mixing the algorithm up to incorporate new plotlines. She will get captured, and you will save her. Don't like it? Well, don't play any Super Mario game, like ever.

Don't get us wrong, we do love Princess Peach, especially when she's available as a playable character. But let's be honest, she is a one-note heroine, and one that has no purpose other than to get kidnapped. Is that unlucky, or just a bad habit gone way too far? Whatever it is, it's unfortunate, and it's a story we've frustratingly seen more times than we'd care to acknowledge.

2. Carmine Bros (Gears of War)

What started off as genuine heartbreak material somehow managed to spiral into a running joke, one that saw the helmet-wearing Carmine as the brunt of it each and every time. Although beginning his venture as a relatively small side character, the first Carmine brother eventually went on to become a torchbearer for the family tree. As a result, a whole band of siblings were introduced to the Delta fold. And, you know, the majority of them died in ridiculous, albeit slightly heroic ways.

Fortunately, the family tree did produce one survivor. His name was Clayton Carmine, and survived not one, but two stories. Although players were half expecting for him to meet an unfortunate demise, he ironically ended up being one of the best characters in the series. Can't say the same for his brothers who, in all honesty, only knew how to take an unscripted bullet for the team.

1. Nathan Drake (Uncharted)

Well, if he ain't dangling from a locomotive, then he's probably launching himself from an aircraft that's engulfed in flames. But that's Nathan Drake, in a nutshell, and it's rare you'll catch him on a calm day when the only goal is beating Crash Bandicoot for bragging rights. Does his recklessness make him unlucky? Well, I mean, it doesn't exactly help, and if anything, it attracts more unnecessary problems.

It's a mystery to us how Nathan Drake has endured such unpleasantries and yet still managed to waltz away without so much as a scratch. Being unlucky is in his blood, and yet, somehow he has managed to shrug numerous amounts of death-defying encounters from his shoulders like they were nothing more than a volley of feathers. Does that make him lucky to a certain extent? Your call on that one.

So, what's your take? Do you agree with our top five? Let us know over on our socials here or down in the comments below.