Hotline Miami Series Review (Xbox, PlayStation & PC)

A phone call; a baseball bat; a chicken in a letterman jacket; an outpost full of thugs with a natural ability to annihilate a mercenary with a single shot; a list of contracts; and a beat that drums its fingers to the head-bopping rhythm of M.O.O.N.’s “Hydrogen” like clockwork. This is, for the most part, Hotline Miami in a nutshell: a rhythmic spree of bullets and beats, feuds and ramifications. It isn’t the prettiest of top-down shooters, and it doesn’t beat around the bush with its dopamine-fueled devotion to bloodsports, either. It’s slick, surprisingly tough, and above all, an absolute blast to romp through, even if the odds of dying once every four seconds are depressingly high. It’s a darn good thing that it fosters a good soundtrack to cushion the pain, then.

Hotline Miami could be a lot of great things. Heck, it could make for a compelling story-driven thriller, if it were to spend more time fleshing out its characters and expanding on its world. But, Hotline Miami isn’t here to spin a yarn; it’s here to point a gun at your head and tell you to dance whilst barking commands at you. It doesn’t care for the details, but the sound of rampant screams in a clustered room provoked by bullets and hellfire. It gives you a job, and it tells you that, in order to progress deeper into the underbelly of soulless crime, you must take advantage of the tools in your arsenal and complete assassinations in any way you deem necessary. Here’s the catch: a single bullet can, and often does end your career, meaning, if you aren’t able to sweep the field in a Jason Bourne-like manner, then you have to begin your contracts from scratch. But, more on that later.

The series itself isn’t one for holding your hand or pointing you in the right direction. Instead, it pulls you up to the curb of a seemingly random location, and then instructs you to infiltrate, commandeer, and eliminate all of the enemies within before making a swift exit, back to your getaway vehicle where another contract awaits at your apartment. The cycle repeats, and before you know it, you’re rooted deep within a perpetual pattern of gruesome murders and bullet sprees, mercy killings and twin-stick theatrics. For the most part, this is Hotline Miami in its peak form — a contextless bullet hell that favors masked criminals, enclosed spaces, and brief spouts of bass-boosted musical crescendos that serve only to make you feel like a complete and utter weapon on legs. Chicken legs…sort of.

Of course, Miami Hotline isn’t just about wall-to-wall bullet grafting; it’s also about a series of characters and their distinct traits and abilities, of which you can utilize to conquer contracts and descend deeper into a realm of unruly chaos. For example, one masked mercenary has the added benefit of being able to eliminate enemies with their bare hands, whereas another can spawn with a weapon, and so on and so forth. The point is, there is a little more depth to Hotline Miami than what meets the eye. Granted, it isn’t a series that requires a lot of effort to understand, though it is one that asks that you tread a wide range of different waters in order to truly understand the fundamentals. It isn’t a necessity, though it does help you to find a foothold and prevent frequent deaths.

While Hotline Miami isn’t teeming with provoking plot points or intriguing character development arcs, each chapter in its series has featured a lot of fantastic stages and avenues of play, as well as a great selection of weapons, masks, and soundtracks that befit an 8-bit cyberpunk slasher. Granted, the gameplay doesn’t change all that much as you hop between stages, but with a point system and a number of different avenues to explore, there is a good amount of replay value to it. Again, you’ll die — a lot. But, frankly, you’ll probably enjoy taking a bullet to the knee, mainly due to the fact that, difficulty spikes aside, you’ll find more joy from bopping your head to rhythmic massacres than from repeating the same steps several times over. It’s a strange thing, but, annoyingly, it just works.

Suffice it to say that, if you enjoy bashful twin-stick shooters that feature simple mechanics and palpable characters, sprightly scores and vibrant visuals with eighties-inspired aesthetics, then you’ll probably love just about everything that comes with Hotline Miami and its cocktail of violent shenanigans and arcade-like challenges. It’ll make you sweat bullets, chuckle, and, more importantly, embrace a red mist in a fit of rage. It isn’t for the casual gamer I’ll admit, but don’t let that put you off. Generally speaking, there is a great series here that has plenty to offer. Still, if you’re looking for a hazy walk through a charming meadow of sunshine and daises, then you might want to reconsider your options before jumping aboard this bandwagon. Thanks us later.

Verdict

Hotline Miami isn’t one to leave you on hold as you monotonously idle for hours on the back end of a dull phone call. Instead, it makes an active effort to put you in a corded chokehold and hold you prisoner whilst you grovel at a seabed of bullets and haze, beats and blood splatters. It finds a good balance here, too, not so much as a compelling story-driven experience, but as a rough and ready twin-stick shooter with a lot of heart and vigor. Sure, it’s a little chaotic, and it doesn’t do much to make the art of mindless slaughter look gracious and slick, for that matter. But, that isn’t what Hotline Miami is. No, if anything, it’s a messy corridor romper with no formalities or guidelines for you to adhere to. It’s graphic, aggressive, and above all, surprisingly easy to slip into, thus making it an excellent choice for those looking to splurge on bullets and mindless violence for an hour or two between extensive excursions.