SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game Review (PS5, PS4, Xbox Series X/S, Xbox One, Switch, & PC)

If you’re going into SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game expecting a precise platforming playthrough, then you might want to change your perspective. After all, the star of the show is, for the first time in gaming, and on the franchise as a whole really, Patrick Star. And if you’re well familiar with his character, you’ll know he’s the lazy and dumb best friend. Although occasionally, he does show off a trick or two up his sleeve. 

In that regard, it’s perfectly fitting that the new game structures itself as more of a physics sandbox where you can break stuff. Yup, it’s quite like Goat Simulator, except a little more meek. So, get ready to do anything you want and push the physics of the game to the limits. This one’s all about letting loose without much thought put into your playthrough. 

This also means that gamers of all ages can head out to the newest iteration of Bikini Bottom, unafraid. However, you might want to read through our SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game review first just to be sure it’s the right game for you.

Are You Ready Kids?

Funny how the title of the game still had to include “SpongeBob SquarePants,” even though the star of the show is, indeed, Patrick Star. Patrick’s often on the sidelines, and who can blame him when SpongeBob’s eccentric and over-the-top personality often steals the show? But hey, Patrick still has some interesting quirks about him, many of which pop up in the roughly two to six hours of your playthrough. 

The reason for the relatively short time it takes to beat the game is that there isn’t a particularly profound campaign here. You won’t find a compelling story that rivals Red Dead Redemption; rather, more tidbits of references to the TV series alongside popular lines and memorabilia. If anything, interactions with some of the familiar characters from the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon can become repetitive as the same lines recur a little bit too much. 

It certainly doesn’t do much to help alleviate the barebones story when the interactions themselves are surface-level. Often always, they bear minimal significance to your playthrough. But as you’ll quickly come to realize with SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game, the entirety of your time here isn’t meant to be a brain teaser. This is a game created purely for silly fun without any thought process to the things you do.

No, This is Patrick!

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game features a decent sandbox of Bikini Bottom’s most iconic locations. You’ll explore an expansive slice of SpongeBob’s underwater territory, running into all sorts of fun things to do. Your playthrough isn’t guided, but rather free to engage in anything you want. Perhaps all you want to do is run and jump around the map: you can. 

Or you might fall in love with letting Patrick sleep so you can roll him around the map like a barrel. Mind you, he’ll steamroll at blistering speeds that topple over anything on your path, thus leaving behind a pile of joyous mess. That, too, is an option, even if you spend hours in it. And while you break stuff, you’ll discover the ability to pick up objects. You can hurl them into the sea, breaking even more stuff. 

Patrick can pick up objects with both hands. For instance, a ladder, and position it on the side of a building to reach higher. Worth mentioning, however, is that sometimes the picking-up-objects mechanic can glitch out. And while younger gamers may pay no mind to it, veterans could find the glitches displeasing. 

In any case, these glitches are likely to be ironed out in the upcoming patch fixes, alongside those that force you to restart a minigame because it won’t end even after you’ve completed all the tasks you need to do. Glitches aside, the level of chaos you can cause in SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game is astounding. And for the physics to, for the most part, handle itself quite well is impressive.

Is This the Krusty Krab?

Alternatively, if you’re looking for some inspiration, you can interact with the characters of the SpongeBob SquarePants franchise and help them complete all sorts of tasks. These are the meat of the game, structured in the form of quest mini-games. They earn you Sand Dollars, which you can use to switch up Patrick Star’s costumes. And while the costumes don’t affect the gameplay in any significant way, they do pay homage to lots of references from the cartoon, serving as the perfect fan service. 

Anyway, NPCs will give you all sorts of mini-games, which are wide-ranging in type and gameplay. There are sunbathing, boatmobile, Krabby cook-off, coconut chaos, squirrel appreciation day, and many more side quests you can jump on. Mr. Squidward will give you the sunbathing quest because he can’t stand the other annoying NPCs hogging the beach. So, he asks you to clear the beach for him by spraying intruders with a water gun. No, literally. Or you can use a rake to push them into the ocean. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game is silly that way, and oftentimes, it manages to maintain its silliness across the board.

Order Up!

Like with the Krabby Cook-Off, likely the favorite minigame for most. Mr. Krabs wants your help flipping Krabby Patty burgers, except you have to be constantly on your toes like in Overcooked, serving customers non-stop. And you cannot make too many mistakes despite the overbearing clock nearly running out, or you won’t get a Gold Trophy and earn some precious Sand Dollars to boot. Now, unfortunately, not all the minigames you’ll find in SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game are created equal. Some can be frustrating, like the Boatmobile racing game given by Mrs. Puff. She’s a driving instructor keen on adhering to safety courses and, well, beating the other boatmobiles to the finish line, but not if your boatmobile handles like a rock. Thankfully, most of the other controls work seamlessly as you prance around Bikini Bottom’s most vibrant sights.

Two Hours Later…

In no time, though, you realize just how much fun you’ve been having. I suspect because you hardly put much thought into your next move. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game is far from a brain-teasing puzzle or platforming game. If anything, you can play the mini-games however you want. It doesn't matter if you destroy the environments around you or not, you can still get things done. And if the world becomes too messy to become an obstacle when moving around, you can always reset the map. This comes in handy when the mini-games glitch out, too, allowing you to restart the game. 

But not all your time here is aimless. You can always aim to complete “Feats,” which are challenges that net you Sand Dollars, and then unlock some pretty cool outfits. Or you can jump into a good old-fashioned collectathon, and scour the sandy beaches of Bikini Bottom for hidden mayonnaise jars. There are quite a ton of mayo you can collect in the game. And so, hunting for every last one of them can be a great way to increase replayability. 

In the long run, it all depends on how much fun you perceive you can have paragliding underwater or rolling down the rollercoasters in Glove World. From taking a nap to going down slides, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game has plenty of silly and fun stuff to go around. The question is, how big of a fan of SpongeBob SquarePants are you? How much fun can you have completing odd tasks? And how much patience do you have for sometimes wacky physics? These will determine whether running around and speaking to characters, all voiced by the original actors, might I add, will be fun for you or not.

Verdict

Don Patrick’s shorts as you prance around Bikini Bottom doing all sorts of unimaginable things. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game is entirely physics-based, with a special focus on causing as much mayhem as you want. It’s open-world, too, with a sandbox playthrough, thus making it your playground to wreak havoc however you’d like. The physics handles itself quite well. And even with the few glitches you may run into, they are never game-breaking. 

Meanwhile, gamers looking for a profound and compelling story may want to look elsewhere. There’s hardly a meaty story here to bite into. The same goes for the visuals, which you shouldn’t expect the most refined character modeling and environments. In fact, the graphics may look shabby at times, with low resolution. Although the characters’ charming personalities and vibrant Bikini Bottom world remain intact. Overall, it’s all fun and games here, which fits perfectly into a distraction for stressful days or worked-up kids. Any gamer from age five can have a blast here. The only question is your tolerance for silliness and mayhem—just because you can.