Ragdoll Boxing Review (PC)

It should have been a clean right hook — like an arrow gracing the bullseye, or a bullet kissing the exact area that would cause a vehicular explosion. But it looked nothing of the sort; it was flimsy—borderline rubbery, even. It was the sort of jab that would make UFC’s Dana White curdle and burst into a belly laugh. With hindsight, it was the flounder of a physics-based system that led me to believe that I could bring about a critical hit that exacerbated the swing. I figured, if I could control and manipulate each ligament, then I could trace the same moves that I’d seen on television. But that just wasn’t the case, as Ragdoll Boxing came to show me after signing up to the initial exhibition match.

Ragdoll Boxing certainly talks the talk, but when it comes to, you know, walking the walk, it’s almost as if a boulder miraculously appears to prevent it from flouncing its path. It wants to emulate real-life boxing and the technical flamboyance of a prolific exhibition, but it also struggles to emerge as anything more than a comical pantomime with a multiplayer mode. The act of physically throwing jabs and initiating well-timed dodges can feel awfully satisfying I’ll admit, but it doesn’t make it so that you feel the skill and pizzazz that ties in with your combos. It’s all a bit muddled in that regard. I suppose, in short, it’s a bit like two rubber dolls being smacked together by a toddler; it looks oddly funny, but at no point does it appear stylish or purposefully graceful.

Don’t get me wrong, when a punch lands — it lands. Does it always feel good? Eh, no. But I’ll tell you what Ragdoll Boxing does do right: make claymation quake in its gloopy boots.

Down & Out

Although I wouldn’t go as far as to say that Ragdoll Boxing is a complete clone of Celebrity Deathmatch, I will say that, at least from a mechanical standpoint, it does come awfully close. And that’s not a bad thing; on the contrary, the game is actually a lot of fun, even though it isn’t as ironclad or as authentic as it strives to be. It isn’t a comedy at heart, but it’s certainly more of an independent chuckle fest than an adversary to the likes of UFC. Perhaps that isn’t what it wants to come across as, but if it’s to be anything at all, it’s far better to be memorable than a shameless iteration of the same old thing. And for the record, Ragdoll Boxing isn’t UFC; it’s Celebrity Deathmatch with less clay and more unpredictable AI. Again, not a bad thing.

In spite of it being a little less formal than a full-fledged boxing game, Ragdoll Boxing does come through with some surprisingly great features—an adaptive AI-driven CPU, intuitive physics-based mechanics, and a useful interface that caters to both a keyboard and a controller. There isn’t so much of a career mode to sink your teeth into here, but there are several options to tweak and competitive modes to lock into, the latter of which allows two fledging fighters the opportunity to bash heads and duke it out over a series of traditional bouts with relatively clean settings and boxing ring backdrops. Again, it doesn’t tout the all-seeing carousel of lavish game modes and custom sandbox-like scenarios, but it does provide the foundation for a quick-fire PvP experience. And that’s enough…for a couple of dollars, at least.

Punching for a Pay-Per-View

Gameplay-wise, the player can access a traditional series of flexible defensive moves, full-frontal jabs, and other offensive options, all of which can amount to various hard-hitting combos that can either leave your opponent flailing and weaning or dodging and preparing for a well-timed counterattack. As far as the controls go, there isn’t a whole lot to learn here, though as with most physics-based combat games, hand-eye coordination and timing are fundamentally important. For example, a quick jab can only impact your opponent if you take full advantage of a weak spot or an open window in their line of defense. The idea, then, is simple: calculate your next moves, and initiate a sequence of attacks as and when the climax occurs. Is it an easy feat to surmount? It can be, with a little time and patience, that is.

On another note, the inclusion of a multiplayer mode is a fitting choice for a boxing-centric game. In fact, with its offline mode being somewhat lackluster and lacking in career-based material or story beats, something as universally acceptable as an online PvP mode is a welcome addition. Granted, the user base is minimal in comparison with other PvP titles on the market. That said, Ragdoll Boxing does cough up just enough two-for-one incentives to coerce people into picking up the gloves, with its custom boxer suite and settings providing a good anchor for those looking to spend a couple of hours thrashing it out with their friends.

Verdict

Ragdoll Boxing won’t strike you as an authentic sim, nor will it ever hold a candle to your favorite UFC heavyweight IP, for that matter. That said, this isn’t your typical heavyweight fight; it’s a featherweight for a smaller, less powerful opponent—an opponent that, quite frankly, lacks the same brute strength and endurance as a full-fledged championship brawler. In other words, if you’re somewhat hell-bent on stepping into the ring with a commendable contender and a lot of technical embellishments, then it’s highly likely that you’ll be disappointed with just how little this indie underdog brings to the table.

With all of the above out in the open, there is really only one question left to answer, and that is, is Ragdoll Boxing a total knockout? No, no it isn’t. But it is, however, a solid little punchbag simulator that will no doubt keep avid boxing enthusiasts and physics-obsessed beat ‘em up fans entertained for an hour or two whilst they wait for that next all-important pay-per-view exhibition. And to be honest, for a couple of measly bucks, you could certainly do a lot worse than this.