Let’s Nuke Mars Review (PC)

It’s The Stanley Parable all over again. It seems that, although I’m without that Stephen Fry-esque narrator and a multi-pathway corporate monolith to explore, I have once again found myself in the hot seat, obeying frequent orders, pushing big buttons that are, from what I’ve heard, HR-approved, and going through an extensive process to break the loop. I’m not here to lift the veil on a secret organization, nor am I working to unravel a mythological story about a puppet and an overarching hierarchy that may or may not be pulling the strings. I’m here to bomb Mars. I don’t know if it’s a test, or if I should be following an alternate route. Yet, when the cactus openly said “Let’s Nuke Mars” in the mission briefing, a button switched inside my head. I didn’t think about it. I agreed to nuke Mars.

Let’s Nuke Mars is a short twenty-minute journey in which you, the one in charge of the bulbous glowing button on the dashboard, take on the responsibility of, well, nuking, or at least, terraforming Mars. And by that, I mean that, as the commander of that all-important button, you have the job of choosing when to enact a devious plan, and when to disobey certain orders to help unravel another underlying scenario. Like The Stanley Parable, in ways, the game invites you to make critical decisions over the course of your journey, with each pathway that you choose resulting in one of several unique endings. It’s short, sweet, and all above board — at least in the eyes of HR, apparently. What they don’t know won’t hurt ‘em, right? Right.

If you’re just about ready to board this satirical show piece and don the joystick, then grab a helmet and man your station — Let’s Nuke Mars.

Aye, Cap’n

Mars isn’t looking to great, and could probably do with some well-needed terraforming. At least, that’s what the science behind it recommends. It just so happens that, without someone to push a couple of buttons and make swift actions, such a monumental feat isn’t likely to happen. Just as well, then, that there’s someone who will gladly follow orders like a dog with a bone, or a cat with a laser pen. Lo and behold, that’s you. There’s no reason to gloss over the paperwork with a fine-tooth comb. The orders are written in black and white: press the button when asked, and do as you’re told as and when needed. What’s the worst that could happen if you say no? Eh…

Let’s Nuke Mars begins with a series of pin-headed jobs: click and drag the planet to rotate it, push a button or two to initiate specific laser beams, and tune in to the voice in your head who’s telling you what to do, and when to do it. Mechanically, there isn’t much that you need to know here. In fact, the game itself can be learned, or even mastered in a few minutes. There’s dragging, clicking, and, well — that’s about it. And yet, this isn’t what Let’s Nuke Mars wishes to prioritize; it’s the level of freedom that we, as players, can unlock, whether it’s via neglect or obedience. The tasks are straightforward, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to fulfill them, if you catch my drift.

Pushing Supernova

The bulk of the gameplay experience boils down to a short timeline of phases, with each section requiring some form of manual input to usher the story in the right or, in some cases, wrong direction. For the most part, though, your task either involves ejecting lasers to terraform the planet, or pressing odd buttons to activate certain events, the latter being dependent on the decisions you make from the spacecraft. Alongside all of this is a voice—an off-the-record narrator who lumbers information on your shoulders and tells you how to go about fulfilling your objectives. Well, sort of. What I mean here is that, while said co-pilot does funnel requests into your cache, you don’t necessarily need to adhere to the rules. Admittedly, it doesn’t change the game entirely, but by adopting different roles aboard the ship, you can alter the ending ever so slightly.

While the mechanics are disappointing nulled by a rather minimal variation of buttons, there is a lot of to gander at here. But that isn’t to say that it’s a picture-perfect image; in fact, the amount of moving pieces, janky animations, and not to mention the questionably plausible voice acting can be a lot to take in even during the best of times. It’s difficult, to be honest, to tell whether or not certain events should be happening, or if they are mere technical hiccups that failed to make it out of the strainer before launching into their respective positions. I’m not too mad about that, though. It’s the final result of a local Game Jam — so a few loose nuts and bolts come expected, to be fair.

Verdict

Given that Let’s Nuke Mars was initially conceived as part of a local Game Jam session, it’s fantastic to see such a half-finished project finally emerge victorious as a full-fledged game on Steam. Granted, it could do with a number of technical improvements to make various areas shine a little brighter, and it could certainly do with a little extra meat on the bones to help bring that twenty-minute campaign into a substantially larger simulation experience. That said, for a few bucks, I do think that there’s something worth pulling out your wallet for here. It won’t knock you for six, nor will it give you something to write home about, but it ought to give you a good laugh as you unintentionally pulverize a harmless planet.