Galacticare Review (Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5 & PC)

I vaguely remember the popping heads as if they were dream-like incarnations amidst the adolescent eyes of an innocent child who, like so many others, wanted to build a clean-cut medical facility from the grassy roots up. I also recall the sarcastic jabs from the overhead Tannoy system, and how the doctors would often like to poke fun at my desperate efforts to eradicate a virus that just so happened to revolve around several “Elvis Presley” impersonators. These memories, which came to light back in 1997 or shortly thereafter—a pivotal time in which the business and sandbox simulation genre was booming and untimely sourcing fresh ways to grasp new trends—have more or less stuck with me for nearly thirty years, frequently reminding me that Theme Hospital was, and perhaps still is, one of the best hospital-based sandbox games, period. And then I’d remember its sci-fi clone, Galacticare.

Let’s not beat around the bush here, folks. Call it what you will, but the simple truth is, Galacticare isn’t just  an ode to Theme Hospital, but a hand-crafted love letter to Bullfrog Productions’ lineage of artistry and punch-drunk culture. And, let’s be honest here — it doesn’t exactly take all that long to realize just how much of Bullfrog’s signature characteristics made it into the final mix of this unruly intergalactic flame. From its crude one-liners to its distinctly different patients and the reckless disregard for their general health or safety — Galacticare is, in a nutshell, the modern-day Theme Hospital with an extraterrestrial twist. The question is, does it serve the original idea some level of justice, or is it more or an inkblot on an otherwise perfect blueprint? Let’s talk about it.

“Hello, Galacticare!”

Galacticare offers a total of eleven chapters to sift through, with each one essentially being devoted exclusively to the act of fulfilling the duties of a “Director”—a puppeteer, of sorts, whose role is to elevate the bare bones of a seemingly desolate medical system into a self-sustaining business model that is not only financially capable of keeping doctors and AI-driven bots happy, but also capable of delivering a quality service to its patients. In each of these levels, you begin your work with a clean slate—a myriad of empty quarters and a series of straightforward objectives, each containing several basic steps, which often involve laying the groundwork for a medical facility, and then employing the necessary doctor to meet the demands of the patients. There’s a little more to it than that; staff and patients also require plenty of nutrition, decor, and even the aid of AI, too.

For the most part, the process begins and ends in exactly the same way: build the same quirky rooms—Diagnosis, Skin Lab, Xen Garden, etc., and then gradually whittle down a multitude of objectives in order to increase your Hospital Star Rating and unlock additional wings, room upgrades, and special Consultants to tackle tougher tasks. These stages, while often comprised of the same duties, each contain an overarching goal, whether it’s nurturing an enormous alien named Baz, competing against a rival firm for perks and sci-fi stardom, or treating enough patients before an unavoidable meteor strike wipes the floor clean of all your resources. In a nutshell, though, the setup is simple: build the same hospital that you did before, and then use one of several new tools to overcome the level’s corresponding problem. There isn’t a huge amount of variety on that front, I’ll be honest.

Intergalactic Healthcare

In the thirteen or so hours that I poured into the healthcare industry, I was able to brush most, if not all of the goals that the campaign set out for me. I’ll admit, I did encounter a bit of a lull during the middle section of the Career mode; it was merely the case that I had exhausted all of my options, and, quite frankly, had little interest in building the same wings for the ninth time in a row. Moreover, as each level didn’t really change all that much, besides, perhaps, the layout of the hospital quarters, I did reach a point where I struggled to stick with it. Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely enjoying it, but it almost felt as if I was playing on auto-pilot, and that it wasn’t really hitting the same spot as it was when it first started.

There is something that I loved about the campaign: the fact that the script was genuinely humorous and frequently laced with believable camaraderie from the Consultants and hospital staff. Of course, I can’t say that I was belly laughing throughout the whole thing, but the off-the-cuff remarks—comments that often pertained to the player’s tendency towards building a phallus-shaped hospital, for example—were giggle-worthy, to say the least. And, again, a lot of those moments were enough to bring me back to the core of Theme Hospital’s primordial history of quirkiness — which was always a welcoming experience, for sure. The fact that neither of these things overstayed their welcome, either, was a great sign; fourteen or more hours and I would’ve had to return to earth to find an alternative way to scratch that sandbox itch.

R&R

Thankfully, Galacticare isn’t the most mentally draining sandbox game on the orbital scale; on the contrary, it’s actually one of the easier sandbox games you’ll ever submit yourself to. Granted, the act of going beyond the standard three-star Hospital Rating can be a little complicated, what with each room often requiring specific stat-boosting upgrades or thematic improvements, for example, but the fact that you aren’t contractually obliged to fill out the entire list does make the campaign all the more accessible and easy to navigate. Simply put, the game doesn’t force you to scrape the barrel clean; it asks only that you remove the lid and take a good ol’ gander inside. To that end, you’re unlikely to find anything particularly difficult or daunting — even during the latter stages of the journey.

In addition to the bog-standard campaign, there are also several other avenues of play to explore, such as a Sandbox mode, which allows you to develop your own hospital without the added headache of having to cater to needy clients and other time-consuming tasks; and a Challenge mode, which grants you the opportunity to return to earlier facilities to participate in a collection of activities in exchange for additional bonuses and in-game perks. Take all of this into account and spread it around evenly, and you’ll likely find a solid twenty-plus hour journey to work through, give or take.

Verdict

Galacticare strikes the right balance between being a near-perfect tribute to Bullfrog Productions’ timeless sandbox sim and being a work of art that contains all of the sci-fi trappings of an original centerpiece. In a similar vein as its kin, the game thrives on tongue-in-cheek humor and digestible gameplay mechanics, both of which complement an otherwise textbook adaptation of a familiar tale. As for whether or not you could argue that it is a perfect sandbox game is another question, and one that is likely to conjure different interpretations and conclusive answers depending upon the player’s preference. For me, personally, I’m inclined to think that it is an incredibly well-versed love letter to Theme Hospital, and one that deserves to be celebrated, warts and all.

Given the fact that Galacticare has just launched on Xbox Game Pass as one of the library’s latest releases, you’ve all the more reason to give it a shot and see the intergalactic camaraderie in the extraterrestrial flesh. To put it simply, if you enjoy business simulation or sandbox games like Planet Coaster or Two Point Hospital, then I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll find a lot of entertainment value in the medical field. Likewise, if you love the idea of being able to inflate a few heads for “medical purposes” — then you’ll probably feel right at home here.