Hairdresser Simulator Review (Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 5 & PC)

I specifically remember calling out my mother—a hairdresser by trade, weirdly enough—way back when I was flourishing in my early teens, just as I was about to receive my fourteenth bowl cut of the year, when I made the bold decision of saying that I could probably emulate that exact style, but make it, I don’t know, better. I was in over my head, of course, as I hadn’t the slightest idea how to operate a pair of scissors, let alone a fine-tooth comb or a hairdryer. But I had it in my mind, alright, that I could fashion something out of the mop that was dangling just below my eyebrows. To cut a long story short, I wound up shaving it all off, at which point I made the decision to never attempt such atrocities again. That was, of course, until Hairdresser Simulator came knocking.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m an expert when it comes to slicing and dicing strands of hair and forging models out of cardboard cutouts, but given the fact that I can, if only just, shave my own head without cutting my own ears off, I think (I’ll use that word loosely) I have just the right tools for the job. Or at least, I do in a virtual environment, whereas the clippers and a bowl of styling wax in my desk drawer are literally the only things I’ll ever come to own in the real world. Does this make me a perfect candidate for Hairdresser Simulator? Not even slightly — but at least I know how to prevent a client’s body part from falling off, at least.

So, let’s talk about Hairdresser Simulator. What is it, and what makes it a good starting point for fledging bowl-cutting barbers? Sorry, Deb.

Cutting to the Chase

If you’ve played just about any sandbox sim in the last ten or so years, then there’s a good chance that you’ll know exactly what Hairdresser Simulator is aiming to capture. To put you in the picture, you own the keys to an up-and-coming salon—an empty husk of a styling business that you can mold, shape, and fashion into a bustling hub for fellow wax-loving connoisseurs. Aside from the actual hairdressing duties (we’ll get to that shortly), there are several other jobs that you must accomplish, such as decorating your studio, and collecting various items to flesh out its appeal and transform it into a sight for sore eyes for those on the outside looking in. Funnily enough, this does actually make up a solid portion of the overall experience, thereby making the styling part a mere fraction of the journey. A weird touch, but sure — whatever.

While it’s certainly no House Flipper (not that it should be), Hairdresser Simulator does allow you to flex your creative muscles ever so slightly, if only for the sake of making a textureless hub a smidgen more aesthetically appealing. Granted, the tools at your disposal don’t allow you to break the fourth wall or anything, but they do, however, give you the freedom to adjust several core components, such as the interior decor and the signage on the exterior. Given the fact that this is, of course, a hairdressing simulator, though, it shouldn’t really need to gel with the primary gameplay elements. Again, it’s a neat touch, but one that’s hardly necessary, all things considered.

Let’s Get Snipping

As far as the actual process of cutting hair goes, Hairdresser Simulator has a number of workstations, tools, and cosmetic products to utilize, all of which come with their own relatively straightforward control systems. For the most part, it’s merely the case of sectioning hair, brushing it, or using some form of tool, such as straighteners, to shape and tweak a style that fits the client’s needs. And speaking of clients — each of them come with their own requests, few of which require a certain amount of tools, which can only be unlocked by earning enough of the in-game currency and flicking through a few pages of a catalog. The goal, in short, is to build enough of a reputation to be able to attract new clients, and with them, more features for your toolbox.

Gameplay-wise, there isn’t a huge amount to peruse, as it’s more or less the case of leading your clients to various workstations, highlighting an item on a wheel, and holding down a certain action button to essentially mask the scalp. From there, it’s pretty much the case of working through the motions and ticking off boxes in the checklist before sending them on their way. To this end, there isn’t really any chance of losing your train of thought, or even failing a request, for that matter. Simply put, everything is laid out for you; it’s merely the case of filling up your calendar each day with potential clients and working through them in order to accrue cash and XP.

Paper Dolls

Despite its gameplay being consistent and perfectly accessible for even the most inexperienced players, there is a major issue with the game, in general: its lack of polish. I won’t beat around the bush with this one, but Hairdresser Simulator is arguably one of the most mediocre sandbox sims we’ve seen in quite some time. And I say that with love, as there are, in all fairness, several details that stand out on a smaller screen — but the hair, ironically, isn’t one of them. To put it bluntly, the physics are appalling—laughably bad, even. What’s more, the hair just doesn’t look right; it’s annoyingly glossy, fake, and frizzy. It’s so bad, even, that it often bleeds into the character’s eye sockets or lips, which ultimately spoils the immersion right from the moment you begin your daily routine.

I’m willing to give the devs the benefit of the doubt and say that, as far as independent games travel, Hairdresser Simulator does make an effort to cough up a few lifelike ideas, such as small talk with guests, and contextless chatter that has literally nothing to do with your business whatsoever. Having said that, the bulk of the actual gameplay is monotonously bland and repetitive, and therefore not something that can be enjoyed for drawn-out periods of time.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some good concepts here, and the studio-building aspects are clearly some of the better examples. However, the primary ingredient—cutting hair, of all things—is quickly overshadowed by a slew of graphical and technical errors that make what could be a genuinely fun game disappointingly flat and boring. I can’t say I was expecting much from a sandbox based around hairstyling — but I at least expected it to feature a good mop of hair to brush through.

Verdict

I’m just going to come right out and say it: Hairdresser Simulator isn’t great. It isn’t great, not because it’s mechanically bad, but because it simply lacks the depth of an actual hairdressing experience. Aside from its graphics being ported directly from the back catalog of a Motorola Razr flip phone, it’s also in receipt of some pretty mundane features and repetitive tasks — like having to sit and watch paint (or wet hair, in this case) dry for fifteen minutes without a single curveball to have to scramble over. And I know for a fact that such things don’t take quite as long in an actual salon or barbershop.

What really lets Hairdresser Simulator down is its lack of variety; the goals unintentionally begin to grind on your last nerve before the game even starts to find its rhythm, which makes the preliminary phases far more mind-numbing than they should be. This isn’t to say that it’s all bad, but given the fact that you’re able to complete the vast majority of your goals within the first hour or two, there just isn’t enough to keep you coming back for another cut. What’s more, as the save feature is next to non-existent, it does make for a pretty underwhelming and, dare I say, exhausting experience right from the get-go. And that’s bad, truly, as I couldn’t even allow myself a few minutes to collect my thoughts and return to the chair without having to refashion all of the set pieces for the umpteenth time.

I will say this: if you love the art of hairdressing more than life itself, then there’s bound to be something in this world to keep you combing through. If, however, you’re on the market for a true emulation of the field, then you’d better reroute.