Duke Nukem Series Review (Xbox, PlayStation & PC)

Before Postal came knocking, I honestly thought that it couldn’t get any more “risqué” than Duke Nukem. The naïvety took ahold of me, and I couldn’t think of anything more controversial than a cubed pole dancer and pork-coated police patrols. I was young, dumb, and unintentionally foolish enough to believe that, if it had undertones of explicit material or foul language, then it was pushing the boundaries into uncharted waters. But that was the nineties—an era in which we weren’t overly familiar with controversial video games or franchises. The ideas were ridiculously on the nose — but that sort of worked in its favor, even when it shouldn’t have.

I’ll admit, while there were dozens of influential third-person shooters that helped shape the medium of play back in the nineties, it was Duke, of all people, who also gave us an insight into the future of controversial video games. It wasn’t that the series spearheaded the notion that you could incorporate questionable ideas; it was that it couldn’t care less about its audience or, more specifically, how it would be received by critics. It accomplished some ludicrous feats, most of which wouldn’t sink in the modern world. At the time of its launch, though, it was bold, tasteless, and oh-so-ballsy. As a kid at heart, I just wanted to see how far it could push the boat out before being banned.

Go Big or Go Home

For the longest time it felt as if Duke Nukem could swiftly dodge bullets and rain hellfire without taking so much as a lick of damage. Years eventually passed, and that cold-hearted shooter finally met a rather disappointing fate, one that resulted in well over a decade in development hell, and the loss of millions of fans’ interest. That was Forever—the chapter that was supposed to pivot the series into a modern era, one that would adopt a separate webbing of mechanics, gameplay elements and a fresh lick of paint to help bring those pixelated monstrosities to a new level. Well, that was the plan that was drawn out in 1997. The fact that it came out in 2011 sort of dampened the enthusiasm, unsurprisingly.

If we can discard Forever for a moment, then we can, in all honesty, appreciate the former years of Duke and the Windows-PSX saga. Okay, so they weren’t the greatest third-person shooters on the chopping block at the time; lest we forget that it was also competing against titles like Tomb Raider and, eventually, Max Payne. But, Duke was of a different species; it was brash and controversial, pulpy and offensive. And, to give credit where it is due, it was also loaded to the core with hilarious pop culture references and silly one-liners, as well as some weirdly charming villains and absurd characters. Duke was one thing, but with all of its pigs and “babes,” it was a universe that had something special. It was stupid, but that was sort of the point. Or at least, so I thought it was.

Duke Nukem never had the best plots in the book, nor did it reinvent the wheel with anything particularly mesmerizing. If anything, the series sort of gravitated towards a rather mediocre blueprint—a style that favored crude humor and fart jokes, janky gunplay and stereotypical characters. It was never going to be the series that would ultimately change the face of gaming, but there came a point where people sort of accepted it for what it was: a satirical piece of garbage that was, in spite of all its flaws, a strangely amusing experience that could extract a few giggles. Maybe that was enough, maybe it wasn’t.

I won’t pretend that Duke Nukem is, or even ever has been a fantastic series, but I can just about find it in my heart to celebrate its devotion to its bold and outrageous formula. Twenty years ago, it would’ve been perfect for a good laugh and an excuse to slip into a quick romp through the blood-soaked districts. Today, eh, not so much. It’s a train wreck, but it’s also our train wreck that we both love to hate and hate to love. We’ll let you decide which you prefer.

Verdict

Duke Nukem may be dead and buried, but there’s still a headstone with a ton of inscriptions on it that says otherwise. Currently, Duke is out of the picture, true. But somewhere in its own self-contained purgatory, it thrives and prospers as a mixed bag of absurd ideas and moot points. I’ll admit, there are millions of us who wouldn’t agree, and there are critics who would soon rather close the book on the series altogether than rekindle its dying spirit for another homecoming. For me, I’m somewhere in the middle; I appreciate the nostalgia fodder, the camaraderie and the general ridiculousness of it all, but at the same time I’m convinced that, great points aside, it just wouldn’t survive such a rigorous onslaught in this day and age. In the nineties? Sure. But today? Not so much, sadly.

The nail in the casket for the IP was, and regrettably so, the developmental crisis on Forever—a chapter that, despite being in possession of some great ideas that would ultimately modernize the format, wound up being locked in development hell for just shy of fifteen years. It was during the aftermath of that time, unfortunately, that the series lost its spark. Duke died, and all momentum surrounding the franchise quickly disintegrated into shallow waters. That was the death knell for the series—the final straw for 3D Realms’ hopes and dreams of ever being able to resurrect it. A shame, but when all’s said and done, it was probably a better fate for Duke and its outdated references.

If, by some random coincidence, you are looking to take a slip back through time to experience the best of MS-DOS and PSX, then you may find something worth checking out here. It’s unlikely that you’ll have your entire world rocked by Duke or the eternal Land of Babes, but if you’re all for the idea of experiencing a whole lot of shoddy pop culture Easter Eggs, then you might be able to get your money’s worth here.