Bongo Cat Review (PC)

If you think a game that goes by the title of Bongo Cat sounds ridiculous, then congratulations, you’re right. Heck, to even call it a game just wouldn’t feel right, as it is, in spite of its inclusion of transactions and loot boxes, more of a tab-hogging companion that simply cradles your PC and drums its paws to the rhythm of your leisurely trips to the far corners of the web and back, if anything. Mind you, the fact that it boasts an Overwhelmingly Positive score on Steam is enough to knock anyone for six. And if you are wondering how on earth a game that derives from an internet meme is able to obtain a platinum moniker among gamers, then join the club — we’ve got jackets…and hats. We have so, so many friggin’ hats. But we’ll talk more about that later.

If you’re wondering what Bongo Cat is, then one can only really describe it as a desktop sidekick that sits at the bottom of your screen and reacts to your each and every prompt that you execute. It doesn’t matter if you’re writing a pre-lecture essay or if you’re sweating bullets in an online extraction shooter — Bongo Cat stays. And it doesn’t just sit and watch you work; it builds up a collection of “bongos” with which you can invest every thirty minutes to earn more hats and cosmetics, all of which happen to boast different rarities and themes. And, again, if you think this sounds silly — it is. So tell me, why the heck am I still hell-bent on finding a Legendary loot box after several hours of bongo-ing? Am I the fool, or is Bongo Cat really that great? Eh, the jury’s out on that one.

Given the fact that Bongo Cat isn’t the most intrusive companion on the desktop, it wouldn’t make sense to simply boot it out of the cat flap and watch it nibble at a neighbor’s doorstep. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if it’s there, because so long as you’re clicking and doing what you would normally be doing anyway, you are, to some basic degree, also earning a pretty penny (or bongo) or two. And I think that’s all that this is: a non-intrusive companion that just so happens to have an unusual obsession with hats and other wholesome accessories. Mind you, if it was just that, then I wouldn’t have much of a problem with it. It’s the rarities, however, that make it difficult to bond with.

Here’s the catch: every thirty minutes you endure the feline friend hogging your taskbar, you need to make a choice whether or not to spend 1,000 of your beloved bongos for a chance to claim a new hat and skin, or sacrifice ten of your items to upgrade another item to the next tier. For example, if you have a Common item or an Uncommon item, then upgrading it will bring it to Rare or Epic, respectively. The clincher here is that, being a game that favors drastically lower odds than most loot-gacha troves, the chances of acquiring a Legendary item or upgrade are slim to non-existent. And, again, if you’re wondering what the point to all of this is, then I almost hate to break it to you, but there isn’t, in fact, a point. It’s a game about a cat with an obsession with hats and bonging — and that’s it.

While I personally wouldn’t recommend going out of your way to adopt the annoyingly stylish feline friend for your own desktop, I will say that, as long as you’re comfortable with it doing its “thing” whilst you go about your day and follow through with your usual routine, then there isn’t any harm in keeping it to idle over your tabs. And, to be fair, it is oddly charming, even though it doesn’t really benefit you in any way shape, or form. But that’s an idle clicker for you; it doesn’t offer you much more than the bare minimum, but it makes the best of what it has in the best possible way. It just so happens that Bongo Cat has stacks of accessories and themed skins. Maybe that’s why it’s so darn alluring. I suppose it’s a bit like a mystery box or a lucky dip that you might find in your local bargain bin, in that it instills a sense that you have to keep digging in order to eventually reap the fruits of your labor. It isn’t really worth it, but it makes the crazy cat people happy, at least.

At the end of the day, there’s certainly no harm in adding Bongo Cat to your taskbar, so long as you’re prepared to feel disheartened each and every time you unveil a hat to discover that, lo and behold, it won’t be the Legendary add-on that you’ll be able to brag about to your friends. If you can prepare yourself for a bit of disappointment, then you should, with any luck, be able to enjoy just about everything else that Bongo Cat has to offer. Probably.

Verdict

Bongo Cat is one of those desktop companions who you can’t live with and can’t live without—a feline friend who has little to no major qualities to offer, yet one that also knows how to keep you smiling as you frequently comb through their wardrobe and bongo with their hopes and dreams of ever finding that all-important Legendary cosmetic. It isn’t a game; it’s a taskbar-hogging sidekick that often hits all of the right notes and tugs on your heartstrings to make you feel guilty for not clicking more. It’s tedious, yet also something that, with deepest regret, I also can’t ever see myself removing after countless hours of scouring for rarities and glossy hats. It’s a strange one, really.

While it’s unlikely that your world will change for the better with the newfound guidance of Bongo Cat and its plethora of stylish accessories, I will argue that, if you have the space to store something as little as a pixelated cat at the tip of your taskbar, then you might as well roll out the red carpet for it. After all, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Right?