Bully Review (Xbox, PlayStation & PC)

Bully (or Canis Canem Edit to those European exchange students of Bullworth Academy) is a lot like Rockstar Games’ middle child; it recognizes it as its own and, more importantly, cradles it the same as it would typically soothe its eldest kin, but also frequently forgets to celebrate its minor accomplishments, even when they’re staring at them right between the eyes. It’s almost as if Grand Theft Auto or Red Dead—the slick uncles with the conjoined god complex—speak, but unintentionally overshadow their nephew as if it isn’t in the room. Oh, Bully has a lot to talk about, but not the voice to flaunder the message. Fans want to hear what it has to say, but Rockstar has its priorities set elsewhere. The Warriors, too, sits somewhere at the back of the table, almost like a distant cousin without an appetizer to nibble at — but that’s another story altogether. And then there’s Smuggler’s Run, which is just dead in the dog house out back, probably, 

I think I can speak for everyone when I say that Bully, although not the most politically correct IP in Rockstar’s epic catalog, is one of the select few old-school action-adventure cult favorites that deserves a remake. And it feels as if it has come awfully close to getting one, too. But then, being the egotistical uncle—the arrogant pony, of sorts—that it is, a Shark Card will be brought to the table, and the parents will immediately forget about it. Bully falls behind, and the feast leaves just a fickle breadcrumb for its wayward son to gnaw at with malnourished dentures.

The Art of Locker Stuffing

Of course, while you could argue that Bully is a niche game (and let’s be honest, it is), there’s no denying that it is, in spite of all its on-the-nose oddities and bare knuckle approaches to class stereotypes, one of the studio’s best standalone titles of all time. A bold statement, but one that feels fitting, given its unique take on an action-life simulation hybrid that, at least from my own recollection, hasn’t been done before.

It’s a shame, really, that Bully falls into a purgatory of sorts—an area that you know has the capacity to expand, but also lacks the courage to experiment with the ripples without the worries of butting heads with a tidal force of social backlash and repercussions. At the time of its initial release, however, it wasn’t an issue. Bully was ballsy, albeit ridiculously cliche and riddled with B-movie pulp. But then, that’s why it wound up finding critical acclaim among the student body, weirdly; it dared to embrace the stereotype and capitalize on it with that ever-famous Rockstar formula.

The Jack of All Cliques

Bully never had the weight of Grand Theft Auto’s mouth-watering open world beneath its belt, nor did it have the dialogue and emotional attachments of a drawn out Red Dead epilogue. Frankly, it didn’t have a lot going for it, at least from a narrative point of view, anyway. It was, for the most part, a middle finger to the modern clique—a rebel with a heart for teenage drama and violent fodder. But that’s why it was so darn successful. See, it didn’t pretend to flaunt a wide deck of cards, but instead chose to embrace what it had in its adolescent palm and roll with it. And it was what it did with that small deck that mattered most. Classes; cliques; extracurricular activities; curfews and prefects, to list just a handful of its wildcards. The fact is, even with a small world and a relatively short campaign, Bully still managed to cram a lot into its basket.

Although in receipt of a short five-hour campaign, Bully had a lot of fine details and world events to offer alongside its teenage shenanigans, including graded classes, faction building, optional missions, seasonal events, odd jobs, errands, and not to mention an entire town of random encounters that would lean on your every action and motive. It was, to some extent, Grand Theft Auto with a seemingly watered down world and half the violence. Instead of RPGs, it opted for slingshots; for modes of transport, it would pave the road for karts and bicycles; and for that signature Rockstar honor system, it would utilize factions—Nerds, Bullies, Jocks, Greasers, Preppies, and Townies—to steer your moral compass and shape the narrative. And you know what? It captured all of that incredibly well. Sure, it was a little tongue-in-cheek and unforgivingly discriminatory to the average student, but it was also a lot of fun to untangle and prod fun at. And besides, it was Rockstar Games that was pulling the strings; you had to take it all with a huge pinch of salt.

Anyway, amidst all of its minor flaws was a genuinely enjoyable third-person action-adventure game with a lot of heart and a great deal of depth. The characters were (sort of) relatable, and the “quell the bullies” plot was effective, albeit silly and predictable. It also had a ton of great “feel good” moments, with each chapter offering a unique perspective on social cliques and how Jimmy—the bald protagonist—was able to turn the page and rock the apple cart, so to speak. It was silly — but in the best possible sense of the word.

While the future for Bully is depressingly unclear, it’s safe to say that Rockstar Games (probably) hasn’t forgotten about its starving middle child. As for whether or not it will make a surprise appearance in the upcoming fiscal year is another question, and one that, unfortunately, won’t be answered until Grand Theft Auto stops talking about Shark Cards. So, never, basically. Again, take it all with a huge pinch of salt.

Verdict

Bully foots the bill as one of Rockstar Games’ lesser known yet highly regarded standalone cult favorites, yet continues to receive the cold shoulder as the likes of Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead proudly squander their reputation and wax their own egos. It’s a shame, because at the end of the day, Bully has all of the tools and signature hallmark qualities to make a huge splash with the big kids. Sadly, with its voice being a little more fickle than most, the chances of it ever finding a new platform to announce it resurrection are annoyingly slim. However, for the sake of finding a silver lining between the storm clouds, we will leave it with an eye-rolling sign off. Oh, don’t be sad that it came to an end; be grateful that you were there for the journey. That cheap quote alone is enough to make you want to stuff a kid into a locker between classes, to be honest.