Beat Saber Review (PC VR)

Suddenly I know how Scott Pilgrim would have felt when he miraculously transformed from an antisocial bassist into a comic book superhero with electrifying powers. Thanks to Beat Saber, I get it. Although, if you were passing by and looking in from the sidewalk, then it probably wouldn’t look all that epic. But to me, in the heat of the moment and with two neon sabers in hand, I am, albeit a shoddy imitation, the dollar store version of Scott Pilgrim. I can’t play bass, and I sure as heck can’t imitate John Wick when it comes to executing sickeningly stylish combat sequences. But I can, however, imitate a hot mess who knows how to swipe a wrist to a good old-fashioned beat. I’m also a compulsive liar, apparently. The global leaderboard continues to outshine me — but that’s besides the point.

Of course, with a game that’s as simple and as stylish as Beat Saber, essentially anyone can look the part and lean into their inner Kill Bill. It doesn’t take much to gel with such a character, either, as the gameplay itself is more or less condensed into hacking, slashing, and frequent rhythmic shape-cutting techniques. And that’s sort of all that Beat Saber is: cutting shapes to the pulsating flow of an upbeat tempo with two neon batons. Frankly, you don’t need to be well versed in the art of Zumba or be a cinematic deity to dice notes and shatter electric blue or red cubes. In fact, you just need to be willing to flail your arms around and break a sweat in the process. That, as well as sacrifice whatever pride you have left in your flexible vessel to maintain a good score. Like I said, anyone can do it.

Beat Saber is just as much of a cinematic experience as it is a rigorous cardio workout. Although not on par with your typical big-budget cyberpunk flick in terms of graphical fidelity, the game does cater to some extravagant visuals and glitzy effects, which ultimately translate into an epic visual experience with flailing aquatic blue and bloody red cubes, striking sparks and sci-fi dioramas with seemingly endless corridors of chrome and charcoal. Granted, each track more or less leans towards the same style, but to give credit where it’s due, they also make an effort to fit whatever original rhythms and routines that they have at their fingertips to ensure that every sequence is also unique and in alignment with the beat. And that’s something that Beat Saber does and does well: it provides a good foundation for an evergreen rhythm-based experience that can continue to evolve, even without a fresh lick of paint to exceed its original design standards.

Thankfully, the act of “beating” in Beat Saber is pretty self explanatory. With a laser saber in each hand, you have to swipe one hand at blue cubes, and another at red cubes, all whilst matching the corresponding arrows as they soar past you at lightning speeds. Like I said, you don’t need to be well versed in the medium to be able to understand the concept. That said, you do need to acknowledge the fact that there is a rather steep learning curve to it, with multiple tracks and a fluctuating difficulty spike that can often require you to pick up the pace and compete against ludicrously long routines. But that’s all part of the fun, even if it does often take its toll on your forearms and require you to apply a hot towel for remediating back pain. Maybe that’s just me, though.

In addition to having a solid campaign with tons of handcrafted levels and a sizable library of routines to jump into, Beat Saber also features a treasure trove of Challenges and other multiplayer-oriented modes to explore. With a global leaderboard and an ever-expanding catalog of stages and DLC to unlock (over a hundred downloadable tracks across several content packs, to be more precise), Beat Saber has a lifetime supply of obstacles to overcome and master. The gameplay might be the same across all variations of modes, but the fact is, it’s still a great alternative to your average workout. Heck, there’s a reason as to why so many people opt for the Beat Saber plan over other paid gym memberships. The thing is, I can see why.

Verdict

Beat Saber provides an exemplary alternative to the traditional workout routine with a stupendously easy yet effective shape-shuffling exercise that can keep you sweating bullets and waxing neon blues for hours. With more than enough handcrafted tracks and DLC to supplement your usual workout schedule, you may just find that there’s a lot of bang for your buck here — and not to mention a huge boon for your fitness level and overall wellbeing. Heck, it’s even cheaper than most gym memberships, too. What’s more, you don’t need to shell out on a personal trainer to tell you how to flail your arms about, either. Take that as a sign of a good fitness plan. It’s cheaper, easier, yet still as effective as an uphill triathlon in the dirt. That might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the point.

If you’ve yet to take to Beat Saber’s electric circuits and experience the high-octane rhythms for yourself, then consider this as an invitation for you to burn a few calories and lean into your inner Kill Bill or John Wick. With a little over fifty tracks to work through in the base game alone (plus another hundred to unlock with the addition of the DLC and vast content packs), you clearly have your work cut out for you here. So, if you fancy shedding some weight and waxing your inner cosmic superhero, then I’d suggest pulling out all of the stops to adopt Beat Saber into your own private workout routine. Frankly, it’s either this or The Biggest Loser: Ultimate Workout. Personally, though, I’d opt for Beat Saber, if only for the stylish aesthetic and active community.