Banker Simulator Review (PC)

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to play the bigwig banker in a booming economy—to be the egotistical rubberneck who flaunts their wealth and status in a society that’s increasingly sophisticated and reliant upon fat cheques and high stakes. I’ve imagined that situation, in fact—a scenario in which I possess the scythe and control over who can accrue immeasurable cash injections, and who needs to turn to loan sharks and immensely expensive repayment plans to balance their books and settle their scores.

Banker Simulator, thankfully, hands me the keys to unlock that financially viable, albeit morally bankrupt vision. The game itself offers me an excuse to don the suit and flaunt a few dollar bills — but for a price. It promises lofty cash clips and loot-filled vaults, bigwig lifestyles and lavish entrepreneurial benefits. But, it also places another vault before me—an impenetrable wall of progression-locked activities and morally dubious practices. It openly extends its arm to unveil riches and glamor, but asks that I follow a litter of breadcrumbs for a while before it lifts the curtain to manifest fortune.

I’ll admit, when I first followed that breadcrumb trail, I half expected it to be smitten with morally righteous ambitions. But what came during the opening hours of the journey was nothing of the sort; instead, it was filled with questionable antics, counterfeit goods, and all-out warfare on a global scale. I think it was after that opening sequence that I came to the conclusion that Banker Simulator wasn’t neutral ground for me; it was a corrupt battlefield—a foul place of shame, dishonor and betrayal. About fifteen minutes after that, I decided to abandon the hopes of ever becoming a “trustworthy” banker. Strange, that.

Generational Wealth, Locked

Banker Simulator isn’t what you think it is. Well, it is, but it’s also something that counterbalances its moral compass in an attempt to shed light on two distinct sides of the banking industry. For the most part, the game is about turning a bankrupt business into a booming marvel for capital gain and mouth-watering profit. But there is, weirdly, another side to the game—a side that involves shady dealings and counterfeit bills, territorial disputes and questionable loans. That, in all fairness, is where I was caught off guard when I first picked it up. To my surprise, I didn’t know I was going to be subjecting myself to armed conflict; I just assumed that a game about banking would be about, you know, banking. But I was wrong.

Banker Simulator is a game that tries to be more than a generic one-trick pony. On the one hand, it wears its primary colors like a badge of honor. Yet, below all of those colors it hides a slew of different shades—tasks, usually, that come in the form of unorthodox jobs, unlawful schemes, and illegitimate practices. So, not quite a legitimate emulation of a banking job after all, funnily enough.

I’m not saying that Banker Simulator isn’t enjoyable; I’m saying that it’s a little unorthodox. True enough, the game does lean into some real-life aspects of banking, but it also juggles fantasy with nonfiction with some rather peculiar elements that make you question, well, everything. The fact that you can put your middle finger up to the law, and then offer them a loan before splurging your paycheck on escorts sort of says it all, really. But I won’t go into too much detail on that. Strange, though.

Beyond the Banking Industry

As much as I’d love to tell you that banking is an easy gig — it isn’t. Typically, Banking Simulator has you either laundering cash, shelling out loans, or printing out counterfeit bills to balance the books. That isn’t the weird part; it’s the part that involves going out of your comfort zone to initiate unlawful acts of fraud, violence, or theft. Granted, it isn’t on the same scale as Payday, but it certainly strikes a lot of the same boxes that frequent the vault-cracking shooter. And I guess that’s a bad thing in this case, because again, you would expect a banking sim to be about banking and not, you know, flipping the bird to federal agents and what have you. Fine, though — whatever.

On the reverse side of this rather unusual coin, we actually have a lot of features to work with here. Aside from the fact that the game as a whole isn’t quite what it’s cracked up to be—a banking simulator—it does, thankfully, foster some oddly enjoyable gameplay hooks. What’s more, it includes a plethora of different career avenues to explore, some of which are legal, some of which are morally questionable at best. But I will say this: the general quirkiness of it all does make for a weirdly entertaining experience, all things considered.

The game plays as well as I expected it would when I first started out. I suppose that’s just as much of a compliment as it is an insult, though. Frankly, it isn’t quite as polished as it should be, and a lot of its basic components are sadly overshadowed by a concerning amount of shoddy optimization work and a worrying amount of graphical bugs. Could it do with some extra time in the oven? Absolutely. Would it benefit from the addition of more banking work and less profanity? Probably.

Verdict

Beneath the sickeningly large amounts of cash and vaults of frivolous fortunate idles a somewhat generic business simulation game that’s only treasure is its formulaic charm that has been historically proven to work, regardless of the source material, setting or progression hook. Alas, Banker Simulator isn’t the be all, end all of career-centric sims; it’s a fixture that’s about as commonplace as a penny in a leather purse. But that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad game. Oh no, Banker Simulator still manages to get a lot of things right, and it certainly check enough boxes to help wax those chore core tendencies.

Whilst I wouldn’t recommend that you break the bank on this one, I will say that Bank Simulator is worth dipping your hands into your back pocket for, if not for its unpredictable pick-and-mix gameplay elements, then for its simple yet satisfying milestones that keep you on your toes for all the while you choose to don the suit and, for some reason, assault rifle. Because let’s be honest, what banking simulator wouldn’t accommodate these two things? At this point, I’m beginning to think that Banking Simulator was just a placeholder, and that the legitimate title has yet to be determined.