PowerWash Simulator Review (Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo & PC)

It takes less than four minutes to figure out whether or not PowerWash Simulator is the sudsy solution to your problems, or if it’s the faecal matter to your bath salts. The fact is, if the mere thought of watching soap and foam drizzle from the edge of an old van sounds like your idea of a living nightmare, then suffice it to say that PowerWash Simulator is the one game that you’ll probably want to avoid at all costs. This isn’t to say that it’s an unsatisfying experience; it’s accepting the reality of the situation, and understanding that, in order to truly enjoy the journey, you’ll either need to have the patience of a saint, or the natural ability to find pride in the little things—the giddy feeling that often comes from completing a sweat-inducing task, like scrubbing grit from a driveway or something as equally exciting. Either way, I can tell you this with confidence: PowerWash Simulator isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. The question is, is it yours?  Let’s talk about it.

PowerWash Simulator is one of the few games that proudly wears its soapy heart on its sleeve and openly embraces the mundaneness of chore core simulation. As such, it doesn’t make an effort to fool you into believing that, through a series of strenuous exercises and routines, you will eventually come to a golden gate where extraordinary things and a wealth of perks will gracefully descend upon you to pat you on the back. Instead, PowerWash Simulator chooses to keep its bubbling elixirs as transparent as possible, with a nozzle, a percentage meter, and a lot of dirt to remove. It’s as simple as that, really. There’s a trolley of grime-riddled levels, a tool belt of nozzles and other cleaning gadgets, and a painfully long task bar that asks you to clean till your heart’s content. If that doesn’t sound like your idea of a “fun” time, then you may want to click out of this review before we scrub out the details.

Cleanliness Is Key

If you’re still here, then you either have an undying love for the art of grafting, or you’re genuinely curious to know whether or not there’s more to PowerWash Simulator than what meets the eye. Unfortunately, as much as I’d hate to burst your bubble here, I do have to confess that, despite there being a wide range of expansions and a boatload of pop culture references to carve out from beneath its grubby ol’ canvas, no, there isn’t a hidden layer for you to unearth here.

To put it simply, it is a game about, well, cleaning, meaning, provided you have the time to spare, you are likely to wind up spending approximately two hours on each of its jobs, mostly volleying back and forth between surfaces, as well as alternating between vertical and horizontal patterns until each sandbox is devoid of dirt and debris. With that, you won’t be likely to uncover any sunken treasures, or even form powerful relationships with eccentric citizens. No, instead you’ll be holding down a trigger whilst staring blankly at a surface, and occasionally checking on a progress bar to watch its percentage slowly increase. In other words, it’ll be like watching paint dry. Well, sort of. This world just happens to have bubbles to make things feel less, you know, depressing.

The goal behind each of the in-game contracts is self explanatory. Armed with a case of nozzles and soaps, you essentially have the task of removing dirt from various surfaces, and tactically stuffing yourself into awkward spaces to deep clean unfavorable areas, such as vehicle trunks and playground gyms, unruly hedges and, on occasion, the inner crevices of Shrek’s swamp. But, that’s a story for another time. The point is, while each location presents you with a new world to scrub clean, the objective is always the same. Naturally, you will enter a domain with a trove of nozzles, analyze a checklist, and spend roughly two hours whittling down the jobs until the site gleams with suds and sparkles, sweat and elbow grease. It’s a simple setup, yet one that just so happens to bring a lot of fun to the workbench, believe it or not.

Of course, if it wasn’t for the vibrant locations and colorful expansions, then PowerWash Simulator just wouldn’t be all that great. Thankfully, though, the game does make a solid effort to keep you invested for the long haul with its quirky settings and charming aesthetics that provide you with a ton of set pieces to work with. It’s still incredibly dull I’ll admit, but it is, in all seriousness, a satisfying experience that feels surprisingly rewarding to complete. It’s sticking it out long enough to reap the benefits of your labor, that’s the tough part.

All in all, it isn’t a difficult game to master. In fact, if you can muster up the energy to hit a few buttons and wait for the opportune moment to cash out, then you can, in all honesty, complete the entire career mode without having to learn much more than the basics. As you progress deeper into the campaign, you can, of course, unlock additional tools and opportunities, which essentially give you the ability to reach trickier spots and clean more efficiently. It isn’t mandatory, though it does make the job feel a little less taxing.

Verdict

PowerWash Simulator is a lot like guacamole — you either love it or you hate it. That being said, the devil is in the detail here, and therefore, it won’t take much for you to come to terms with the fact that, fluorescent aesthetics aside, you will need to have a lot of patience to truly appreciate the beauty in its simplicity. It isn’t a game that will thrill you to the core, nor is it one that will make you feel like an accomplished professional. However, if you’re itching to take a break from the hustle and bustle of a modern RPG, then you might just find what you’re looking for in PowerWash Simulator. It’s grueling work for the ne’er-do-well, but it’s also gratifying work that might just give you a reason to plod through its mud and rot for a short while. Is that enough to warrant your attention? You tell us.