Lola Maria Review (PC)

Grandma, as graceful as she once was, is about as useful as a sandpaper teabag. But I’m not complaining about it. No, I’m complacent with the fact that, even though the homestead has one or two demonic spirits (grandma’s words, not mine), and that grandma herself probably couldn’t punch her way out of a cardboard box if her life depended on it, catering to the general needs of an old hag is still a lot better than being left to fend for yourself in the brisk outdoors.

Of course, I’d love to say that Lola Maria is a kindred spirit, and that she adores the notion of cookies and cream, toasty fires and knitted blankets. The truth is, though, that ol’ grandma isn’t quite so drawn to the simple pleasures of life. In reality, the “lady of the house” prefers other, slightly more twisted affairs. I just happen to be the idiot who bends over backwards to ensure that those affairs are properly fulfilled. I’d much prefer it if they didn’t come with the major caveat of dying every four minutes, mind you. But, you live and you learn. I despise grandma, and I’m almost certain that she doesn’t think too fondly of me, either.

To put it simply, Lola Maria is a short twenty-minute psychosocial horror game in which you, the wayward grandson who has returned from afar to plant roots in the warm embrace of an elderly woman, take on the weighted responsibilities of a young and somewhat competent “child.” As such, you, the protagonist, are given just three days to tend to your grandmother’s needs around a dark and somewhat dainty home. The only caveat is that the house in question isn’t just the haven for the elderly; it’s the cesspit for the roaming supernatural deities. Go figure.

Whatever You Say, Grandma

I wouldn’t describe Lola Maria as a chore core game, because it isn’t anything of the sort. Don’t get me wrong, it contains elements or chore core simulation—watering the plants, foraging for supplies, and collecting the odd note to establish a clearer image of who’s who and, more importantly, what’s what. Yet, there’s a little more to Lola Maria than that. Well, there isn’t too much for you to gander at, what with the story behind it being a little under twenty minutes or so. However, Lola Maria does make an effort to pack in a little more than your average walking sim, which effectively stretches out to various jump scares and the occasional jank-riddled cutscene. But we won’t talk about those cutscenes for good reason.

The game itself doesn’t require too much of you, other than to converse with the residential “guests” and cater to various tasks around the house. As with a lot of horrors, the deeper you go, the more you learn; a chore turns into a quest for knowledge, and a clue spirals into a touch-and-go encounter with a paranormal experience, and so on and so forth. The problem here is that, while Lola Maria does spread its storyline out over several days, the chores that you find yourself dealing with don’t often deviate from the usual track. To that end, there really isn’t a whole lot for you to get your hands on here. And that’s a crying shame, because frankly, I would’ve liked to have been granted permission to engage in other tasks outside of the usual chores.

Adieu, Lola

To give credit where credit is due, Lola Maria does feature some tender moments and a solid all-round atmosphere. The jump scares, while not quake-in-your-boots scary, are well-orchestrated and impactful enough to instill a genuine reaction. And the world, although rather small and lacking in any major points of interest or interesting set pieces, launders a quality ambiance that certainly makes you feel on edge and often afraid to peek over your own shoulder. I can’t complain about any of that. I just wish it had more meat on its bones, or at least some additional material to feast on other than a few generic chores to pass the time.

Thankfully, I didn’t bump into any major platforms during the short twenty-minute romp through Lola’s yard. Perhaps I was lucky, or maybe, just maybe, I was so focused on pleasing grandma that I neglected the notion that the world was most likely crumbling at my feet. Even still, it felt like a smooth experience, and that alone counts for a lot, especially for a first-time indie developer. Hats off for that.

Verdict

Lola Maria deserves a tiny pinch of credit for its jump scares and world-building techniques, but it’s also something that needs more meat on its bones to stay afloat in its chosen category. I’ll give credit where it’s due and say that, for a solo project, it carries a good amount of weight and some genuinely solid ideas. That said, it also falls short in several areas, including its ability to weave a linear path that’s compelling and rewarding to traipse. To say that it’s a pain in the backside with little merit to flounder wouldn’t be fair. But then, I think I can speak for a lot of people when I say, I just wish there was more of an incentive to keep me hooked here.

Given that Lola Maria is a little above board as far as indie horror prices go, I’d say that you could certainly find a cheaper alternative with a lot more bang for your buck if you’re willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel a little longer. It isn’t that Lola Maria is a bad game, or even that it isn’t worth the trouble of emptying your pockets for. No, it’s that, at just twenty minutes in length, you might just struggle to find your money’s worth here, and that you also might end up feeling that you’ve still an itch that yearns to be scratched. If, however, you’re willing to throw caution to the wind, then chances are you’ll still find a relatively good indie horror here. Even still, I personally wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to adopt grandma just yet — unless she’s at the bottom of the bargain bucket, that is. Your call.