Habbo Hotel: Origins Review (PC)

It was only last week that my daughter asked me for a bit of “pocket money” to help her buy a pair of cat ears for her Roblox avatar. At the time, I was bewildered by such a novel idea, and so I rejected her proposal, oblivious to the fact that, I don’t know, twenty years ago, I would have been asking the same question to my own parents. Back in 2005, though, it wasn’t Roblox or fluffy cat ears; it was Habbo Hotel and pieces of pixelated furniture. During that era we didn’t have gift cards or season passes — only a hotline that would connect us from our own bank accounts to the in-game treasury. And I’ll be the first to admit that, while I did take full advantage of my own pocket money to invest in things like sofas, mini fridges and troves of premium HC gadgetry, I also might have used that same hotline to become something of a millionaire, too. That was, of course, until my account eventually got hacked and I lost everything other than the clothes on my back. Sorry, Dad.

Sadly, while the golden age of Habbo Hotel is long over, the next best thing—Habbo Hotel: Origins—is still alive and kicking, and it serves only to reignite the pixel-pasted goodness of the original 2005 version of the beloved MMO. It shows its pensioner’s bus pass, too, in that it looks old, sounds old, and moves like an elderly woman at an eighties birthday party. In 2005, you wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But, when put in the same gene pool as most modern MMOs, it does look friggin’ awful — but in the best possible way, weirdly. It isn’t that it plays badly; it’s that it actively represents the best and worst aspects of old-school gaming technology, warts and all.

Of course, if you’ve been with the MMO since the early teething era, then Origins ought to feel like the ideal trip down memory lane. However, if you’re something of a newcomer who only knows the modern version of the game, then the homecoming iteration might look a bit like a step in the wrong direction. Without the full weight of a modern-day catalog and the grand scale of the hotel’s extensive boroughs, Origins will likely feel like a daintier, almost half-baked world with roughly a quarter of the content. But, that isn’t to say that you won’t enjoy it. Before slipping into the looking glass of its infant formula, though, it is worth mentioning that Origins isn’t Habbo in its prime; it’s a dated classic that serves only to instill a sense of nostalgia in the hearts of the dial-up dinosaurs. That makes me the ideal candidate, then, apparently.

Jumping back into the vanilla version of Habbo Hotel is a bit like rebuilding a bridge with your inner child or, to some extent, reconnecting with an old Guild in World of Warcraft: Classic after several decades of watching it gradually lose the essence that made it so darn special to begin with. Even though you know that it’s without the modern innovations of a full-fledged MMO, there’s something about it that you can’t help but adore—a “spark” that you feel drawn to, like an old family heirloom that you know looks old, but also have a vague memory of. The same applies in the pixel-crafted world of Origins. From the original lobbies to the “FALLIN’ FURNI” rooms, the lively chat boxes to the blossoming bubbles that project the word ‘BOBBA’ across your monitor every four seconds on the dot. Thankfully, Origins retains all of these core features and the bashful bone marrow of the heyday iteration. The only thing missing, really, is the hype surrounding it.

While the days of fleshing out a room and obtaining the gold standard of HC-related items are long gone, Origins does manage to bring back a ton of nostalgia fodder for that old cannon of yours. And I think that’s what Origins is at its core: a window to the past that puts veterans at the heart of the experience. With an eighteen-plus certificate that favors communal banter over inclusive content, Origins makes more of an effort to appeal to the boomers of the social network—the players that are, after two decades of growth, able to laugh at the expense of the game’s outdated palette. And it works, too, so long as you’re able to slip into it with the mindset that it isn’t a perfect MMO, but rather a simple rehash of a pre-historic experience that bears the brunt of its shortcomings.

True to the original code, Origins does make a habit of monetizing a lot of its core material, including the premium furniture and avatar accessories. Of course, it isn’t a pay-to-win game, though it does spoon feed you a lot of nonsense about VIP membership and the “perks” that tie in with the lavish lifestyle of a typical HC socialite. It doesn’t spoil the game by any means, though it does make it awfully difficult to appreciate the old-school essence when most of its content is annoyingly drizzled in paywall propaganda. But that’s Habbo Hotel for you, I guess. You don’t need to be a millionaire to play the game, but it certainly helps if you’re able to put your money where your mouth is, if you catch my drift. Thank goodness for Fallin’ Furni.

Verdict

Habbo Hotel: Origins is the blast from the past that I need and crave when it comes to old-school web-hogging MMOs. Although incredibly dated and about as half-baked as one would expect of a run-of-the-mill rehash of a 2005 life simulation game, it does bring a huge amount of that nostalgic rust and pixel power that made the vanilla version the global phenomenon that it was two decades ago. And that’s all that this is: an old MMO that proudly wears its spots, stripes, and pixels on its sleeve. It isn’t the least bit perfect, but for returning fans who want to rekindle the flame from their golden days, it’s a real feast for the senses. It’s just a darn shame that it’s so heavily monetized. Shame on you, Habbo Club.