Drywall Eating Simulator Review (PC)

If you had previously told me that a game with the title of Drywall Eating Simulator was more of a nod to gluttony and capitalism than a game about, well, nibbling at the wall, then I would have assumed that we had our wires crossed, and that you were talking about an entirely different game. But then, almost as if to scratch a curious itch, I decided to dabble in its world for myself. And as it turned out, it wasn’t just about consuming shavings of drywall or ashen curdles of plasterboard; it was also about internal combustion—the highs and lows of corporate life and the pressure of being a puppet in a world that praised capitalism and abolished social norms. Suffice it to say, I didn’t have that on my bingo card.

To tell you the truth, Drywall Eating Simulator is a game that grants you the opportunity to gnaw at the wall. But there’s more to it than that. Well, there isn’t too much to analyze with a fine-tooth comb, but there is a hidden meaning behind it, believe it or not. See, the act of “consuming” drywall is a remedial action—a bandaid that has almost otherworldly powers to aid you through the vast difficulties of adulthood. Here, you don’t take a brisk walk through the woods to clear your head; you take a huge chunk out of the wall and watch your stress levels plummet. And if you think that’s weird, then wait till you get a load of the plot.

To make it clear, Drywall Eating Simulator doesn’t have much of a storyline for you to unravel. Or at least, it doesn’t entice you with copious amounts of twists and turns, crossroads and endgame arcs. No, instead, it paints a picture of a rather generic person who, like so many others, carries a lot of emotional baggage in their head, which stretches out to various turbulent relationships, socially inept managers, and a lifestyle that cradles failure and self-destruction. The cure for all of this, however, isn’t a simple herbal tea or a last-minute booking of therapeutic care; it’s wall. That’s it. Wall. And yes, you can eat it. Don’t ask why. Better yet, just don’t ask any questions at all.

“How Thick Is Wall?”

Drywall Eating Simulator is, at least at its core, a first-person adventure game in which players take to the clumpy boots of a desperate soul who, like the majority of their ilk, feels the weight of the world on their shoulders but also do not have the means to whittle down their baggage. As this seemingly regular “hero” of the story, you have the task of navigating a series of levels—corporate office complexes, parks, and other fairly minimal spaces—and conversing with a plethora of NPCs. But that’s not all. No, what you also have to do is keep your stress levels at an all-time low with the only tool you have at your disposal: your teeth.

The idea here is etched in stone: use your teeth to carve a path through various crumbly buildings, and take a big ol’ bite out of the drywall whenever the going gets tough or your anger level begin to surge. The catch here, however, is that nobody knows about your weird obsession with drywall. The goal, then, is as simple as they come: don’t let the snooping folks catch on to your peculiar habits, and keep your secret as safe as possible. Easier said than done, mind you. Who’d have thought, right? Weird.

In short, what you have here is an experimental art piece that taps into the odd side of gaming. As such, the levels are short, and the environments are lacking in any technical grace. Mechanic-wise, there isn’t a great deal for you to write home about either, as it is, if anything, a physics-based game that asks only that you chomp on pieces of drywall and carnivorously consume your route through the world. There are NPCs to touch gloves with—an aspect that, in all fairness, offers some pleasant cardboard cutout characters and comical gestures. But aside from all of that, what you see is what you get: an oddball concept that embraces its kookiness. Fair enough.

Cheaper Than Therapy, Apparently

If you’re wondering whether or not Drywall Eating Simulator is a fun game, or even one that is worth picking up, then I can safely say that, you know what — it is, but only if you’re willing to overlook the fact that it isn’t so much of a game as it is a jokey romp through the motions. It isn’t great, and it could certainly do with a lot more to help broaden its weird appeal. But then, I’m all for applauding the peculiar nature of it all. I don’t understand it — but I respect the decision to try something a little different. It just happens to be drywall, of all things.

Verdict

Drywall Eating Simulator is arguably one of the kookiest first-person “wall-centric” games to ever grace the backboard. And that isn’t really saying much to be honest, because let’s face it — where on earth would you find another game that revolves around wolfing down drywall? It’s a niche market, and one that I have yet to see truly develop. Still, I can’t help but admire Peripheral Playbox for, well, thinking outside of the box, so to speak.

If you’re looking for some wall-to-wall action with a hint of nail-biting (or drywall) weirdness, then might I suggest that you take an enormous chunk out of this incisor-breaking appetizer. It’s a strange one, and sure enough, it makes about as much sense as a suit with a drywall addiction. But, if you are looking to slip into a different field of work, then consider Drywall Eating Simulator as an invitation to do something unhinged and nonsensical. It’s wacky, ridiculous, and about as orthodox as a festive feast with a drywall centerpiece. We’ll let you decide whether or not that’s worth the admission price.