Anger Foot Review (PC)

If I’ve come to learn anything about myself in the last, I don’t know, fifteen years, it’s that I absolutely love—no, adore the idea of kicking merciless foes in the back of the head with an iron boot. It started with DOOM, and then it eventually transferred into games like Bulletstorm, and after that, well, it was at that point that things started to become a little too clear. Sure enough, for when the ultimatum would frequently come to light, the choice was always too easy to make: to opt for a good old-fashioned assault rifle, or to simply settle for a size nine and a pair of steel toe cap boots. Needless to say that, by siding with the latter, I’d be in safe hands — sorry, feet. And it’s because of that sense of familiarity with the weapon that Anger Foot, unsurprisingly, felt like a perfect fit.

Of course, I could quite easily slip into a comfy pair of shoes and spend the next however many minutes ranting on about curdling toes and tongue-in-cheek puns — but it probably wouldn’t do either of us any favors. So, for the sake of keeping my foot wedged in my mouth and not, in this instance, lathered all over the text that’s about to follow suit, I’ll keep it short, sweet, and more importantly, to the point. But, what is Anger Foot, if not an emotionless vessel in which fledgling fighters can slaughter their oppressors with a pair of sandals? Well, it’s a few things, actually — but it is, for the most part, exactly what it says it is on the tin. However, seeing as we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves here, allow us to rewind it back a few feet. Sorry — I’m kicking myself for that one.

Well, it’s Angry, Alright

I’ll be honest, Anger Foot doesn’t really require a formal introduction, for it is, like Bulletstorm, a first-person shooter that’s about as on-point as it gets. I’m not saying that there isn’t a storyline to it, but given the fact that it quite literally centers its entire plot around a location called—wait for it—Shit City, I can’t help but feel that it would be a waste of time to further elaborate. Still, for the sake of adding a bit of extra context over the matter, I will say this: Anger Foot isn’t just about, well, an angry foot, so to speak; in fact, it’s actually about something else—a criminal uprising, of sorts, that has since transformed the far corners of the so-called Shit City into a wasteland for wannabe gangsters and caffeine-obsessed hijackers. And it’s within this world that you, the sneaker-sporting ne’er-do-well, will turn the tide.

I’m not saying that the storyline is great, because it certainly lacks the same level of detail as a lot of first-person shooters out there. What I am saying, however, is that, in spite of its lack of depth and complexity, it oddly makes up for in countless other ways—its gameplay, being its saving grace, thankfully. And that’s a darn good thing, too, because if I was to remove the butt-kicking from the general equation, that I wouldn’t have a great deal to write home about, as it is, more or less, a generic game that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Case in point, the journey is all rather textbook A-to-B, in the case that, you have bad guys, and you have a series of locations, all of which are teeming with brutes and other degenerates. And that’s it.

Baby Steps

Anger Foot aims to encapsulate a lot of things, but what it pours its heart and soul into creating, really, is the same basic infrastructure that we have seen in the likes of High on Life, Bulletstorm, and, just for good measure, Shadow Warrior. In other words, it paints a picture that incorporates a mixture of hardstyle beats, satirical themes, and combo-obsessed action scenes. At the heart of all of these features is a single USP—a foot, of all things—which you use to pummel your way through the vast majority of the ashen boroughs of Shit City. There are other weapons to take full advantage of too — but that’s besides the point, and, quite frankly, something that doesn’t really add to the overall appeal of the game. Well, it does, but then, why spout useless nonsense about shotguns when we can just sing verses about a clobbering foot?

What’s weird about Anger Foot (I say weird, when really I find it all rather fascinating) is that you don’t just rely on the brute strength of your bog-standard foot. As it turns out, the game also features a whole bunch of upgrades, too—performance boosters that, for the sake of remaining consistent with the game’s weird and wonderful theme, spans fresh sneakers to gut-busting combat abilities and more. Granted, this sort of character ascension system isn’t uncommon in games of this ilk, but the fact that it does make a little extra wriggle room for a few nifty stat enhancers is a good thing, as it provides a level of replay value, if only slightly. As for whether or not it’s worth returning to is another question—a question that will have many, many different responses, no doubt. Can’t win ‘em all, though, eh?

Adrenaline & Sneakers

Anger Foot thrives in high-octane environments, and so, naturally, it has a habit of ushering you into each of the available scenarios without allowing you the spare time to stop and soak up the sights. And that’s fine, seeing as the bulk of its settings aren’t massively different, anyway. Well, I say that, when really each of the boroughs of Shit City are all as equally as vibrant and mind-numbingly striking as the next. Is it enough to give you a blistering headache? Not necessarily, though, to be fair, that isn’t taking the sound effects and orchestral hardstyle score into consideration. Still, don’t even get me started on the music; it’s almost as if I’m on a comedown from a bass-infused EDM fever dream, and I can’t quite tell if I’m currently awake or still glued to the boot. Thanks for that, Anger Foot.

Anyway, if you’re one for knuckling down and getting straight to the point, then there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to sweep a lot of the content beneath the boot in a matter of hours. Suffice it to say, Anger Foot, being the action-driven, no-nonsense (some nonsense, I’ll admit) first-person shooter that it is, isn’t likely to cost you an arm and a leg to complete, or even a handful of days, weeks, or months of work, for that matter. The point I’m trying to make is this: if you think that a relatively short journey is worth the price of admission, then you can’t really go wrong.

Verdict

Anger Foot set out to conjure a rather simple, albeit simple-minded form of entertainment, and to be fair, it captured it — and then some. Like the vast majority of its drunken forefathers—those who lived and died by the quote ‘if it ain’t broke, just kick it anyway’—Anger Foot represents a niche market that, due to the recent surge in popularity thanks to cult favorites like High on Life, clearly has the potential to overtake a lot of the genre’s biggest contenders. Okay, so it’s a weird concept, but given the sheer volume of generic shooters that we actually have in this day and age, it is pretty sweet to have something in our mists that dares to push the boat out a little. And honestly, I’m willing to give the developer a heap of credit for that.

It goes without saying at this point, but if you’re the sort of gamer who often finds joy in crass humor and punch-drunk combat, then I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll absolutely adore just about every available node and perk that comes with Anger Foot. Think of it as a hybrid between, I don’t know, My Friend Pedro and High on Life, and you’ll have a rough idea of what it pours heart and soul into formulating. If that’s the sort of gig that you wouldn’t mind spending a few hours romping through this weekend, then all I can say is this: get that blasted foot out of your mouth and start putting it to good use!