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The Sims 4: Dating Guide

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A big reason why The Sims 4 is one of the most popular life simulators of all time is largely due to the fact it doesn’t stray too far from our actual lives. In the game, we’re looking to establish our lives, pursue our dream job, build a solid circle of friends, and, above all, find that special someone. And, just as it is in real life, dating in The Sims 4 can be an awkward, complicated, and often humiliating experience. That’s why we’re here to show you the dos and dont’s of relationships in this Sims 4 dating guide. So keep reading to give your sim the answers and courage they need to finally land that special someone.

5. The Basics of Dating

While there are many different Sims to date in The Sims 4, there are some limitations on who you can date. If your Sim is a teen, for example, they can only be romantic with other teen Sims. Adult Sims, on the other hand, can only be romantic with other adult Sims but have no restrictions on the age gap. Furthermore, you have to consider the gender each Sim is interested in. Sims may be interested in the opposite, same, or both genders. Having said that, some Sims aren’t interested in dating at all.

As a result, take note of these before embarking on your dating journey. Teen sims can only date other teen sims. Adult sims can only date other adult sims, with age no longer a restriction once they reach adulthood. You also need to find out what gender the Sim you’re pursuing is interested in; you do this through conversation. Because if you make an advance on a Sim who isn’t interested in your gender, in dating at all, or already has a partner, then there’s zero possibility of dating them.

4. Aspirations and Traits

Once you’ve found a Sim who checks both of the previous sections’ boxes, there’s one more hurdle to clear before you can consider them a potential dating partner. That is their Aspirations and Traits. Each Sim has their own set of beliefs, interests, and personality, which are defined by their Aspirations and Traits. As a result, not all Sims’ personalities will be compatible. While it is still possible to end up dating someone your Sim dislikes and disagrees with, it is extremely difficult. What’s more, why would you want to?

As a result, the person you end up dating in The Sims 4 should be someone who shares your interests and elicits a positive reaction from them. When your Sim interacts with another, the +/- signs above their heads are a good way to tell if they get along. If you start talking to another Sim and notice a lot of plus signs and positive reactions, they could be a potential partner. On the other hand, if you’re seeing more negatives than positives, you might want to end the conversation and continue looking. Aspirations and Traits also play a big factor in the next thing we’ll talk about, the Romance Meter.

3. The Romance Meter and Flirting


The Sims 4 features a friendship & romance meter when your Sim, and another, interact with each other. The green bar at the top represents friendship. The pink bar at the bottom represents romantic compatibility. The friendship and romance meter between Sims will rise and fall depending on how your conversation goes and the +/- signs that result from their conversation. The higher each bar, the more likely it is that you will succeed in flirting with another Sim. However, if you begin flirting right away without first progressing these bars, you will come across as rude and ruin your chances with them.

The most important thing to note is that if you want to ask another Sim to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, you must have at least a 30% Romance meter with them. If you want to go the distance and get married, you will need 40% in both friendship (green) and romance (pink).

2. Making Your Move


So you have found a Sim and your conversation is going great. You could even say sparks, or + signs, are flying. So, when should you initiate that first kiss and reveal your romantic intentions? The good news is that you don’t have to wait until the romance meter reaches 30% to do so – that’s simply when you unlock the option to ask them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend. You can, however, make romantic advances before then. But, a big part of it falls on the emotions displayed by both Sims.

If you see flirty, happy, and confident emotions from either Sim in a conversation, that’s a good time to flirt. Playful, and energized are also positive emotions to flirt on. That’s because you have a much higher chance of landing a kiss and getting positive reactions from being flirty when these emotions are present. Rather than being flirtatious when the other Sim is sad, uncomfortable, or even bored. Succeeding in this will raise your romance meter and gradually improve your chances of dating the Sim.

1. Breaking Up


Unfortunately, while dating in The Sims 4 can be a fun experience, the honeymoon phase doesn’t always last forever. As a result, there may come a time when you want to break up with your significant other. That can happen when you are dating, or even getting a divorce if you’re married. That’s why even after securing another sim as your boyfriend/girlfriend or getting married, you have to continue to put effort into the relationship. With that said, if you can’t prevent things from getting worst, you’ll have to rip the band-aid off and break up with them.

You can break up with another Sim under the “Mean” dialogue section. And, you can perform this action at any point in your relationship. However, once you do break up, your Romance meter with that Sim will drop to zero. So have careful consideration before you do decide to end things.

So, what’s your take? Did this Sims 4 Dating guide help? Are there other tips you have for Dating in The Sims 4? Let us know in the comments below or over on our socials here!

Riley Fonger is a freelance writer, music lover, and gamer since adolescence. He loves anything video game-related and grew up with a passion for story games such as Bioshock and The Last of Us.