Bare Butt Boxing Review (PC)

Never in a million years did I think I’d enjoy the idea of watching a blob of extraterrestrial goo in a pair of boxing gloves jackknifing around in a fit of rage, but there you have it — I did, and I can’t quite figure out if I’m missing something, or if I just genuinely happen to find pleasure in ludicrous concepts that don’t take themselves too seriously. Whatever it was that made it so, I can’t deny that Bare Butt Boxing had me at the sound of its first gong, and that it also managed to persuade me into thinking that, boxing game or not, something magical was going to happen at some point or another, if not in the ring, then in one of the far quarters of planet earth.

Bare Butt Boxing, for those who’ve yet to onboard their own share of details, is a quirky arena battle PvP in which you, the aspiring alien boxer with a heart of gobbledygook and a passion for the sport, take on the role of a fledgling fighter. But, there’s a catch: despite your best efforts at representing the human race and its natural affliction with the ring, you are not quite the poster child that the world needs. For the record, you are an alien, and although you do share an undying interest in the art of fighting, you lack the basic knowledge and skills of an actual combatant. Suffice it to say, though, that if you can witness it on TV from outer space — then who’s to say that you can’t try your hand at it? Well, most humans, from the sounds of it — but that’s irrelevant, apparently.

Oh yes, Bare Butt Boxing has just launched on PC. Not quite sure whether to give it a whirl? Let’s talk.

It Looks Easy Enough

Bare Butt Boxing takes an enormous leaf out of the anthology of signature brawlers—titles that include the likes of Party Animals, Rubber Bandits, and Gang Beasts, to round off just a few. In a similar fashion as the aforementioned trio, Bare Butt Boxing factors in the physics of boxing and dimwitted brawling—an idea that ultimately translates into spamming several buttons and triggers in the hopes that something might land, and flailing around an arena until either one of two things happen: you yourself receive an uppercut to the squashy throat, or the remainder of your competitors accidentally knock themselves out on one of several inanimate objects. So, to say that some level of skill is required here wouldn’t be entirely true; on the contrary, it mostly involves mashing the occasional prompt and, you know, hoping for the best possible outcome. And that’s fine, I guess?

There are a few modes to rifle through here, with each one consisting of a generic set of rules: eliminate other players, and use the arena and its oddball items to your advantage in order to deal higher damage, and claim additional rewards and what have you. As far as all of that malarkey travels, there isn’t a huge amount to onboard, or even anything particularly taxing to learn, for that matter. Fact is, if you’ve ever so much as nibbled at the tip of the iceberg of just about any PvP arena brawler in the last ten or eleven years, then you’re probably going to have a good idea of how this particular world operates. Simply put, you enter a map, and you go to town on your foes with a pair of boxing gloves and, in this case, the bare backside of your squashy mallow friend. Fair enough.

Just Do It

Like I said, there isn’t a huge amount to grasp here. In fact, the gameplay mechanics are mostly made up of one of two things: a left and right button, which of course operate each of the character’s frantic fists, respectively, and a power-up meter, which can be used to unleash better combos on enemies. For the most part, you’re either bashing other opponents into some form of oblivion, or staying out of the limelight for enough time, or at least until another player has somehow managed to carry out the dirty work on your behalf. And honestly, that’s about it as far as learning curves go — so hardly a lot to onboard, funnily enough.

The good news is that, regardless of which character you choose to side with, all of the mechanics are very similar—to the point where you don’t need to learn anything outside of the basic controls. To that effect, it doesn’t make a great amount of difference; it all boils down to a matter of preference, if anything, and that’s fine. Well, I say it’s fine, when really, I would’ve happily have poured a few more hours into the ring if I had been given the opportunity to explore several new avenues of play, and not have been restricted to tiptoeing through the same old banquet of features and abilities. Even still, it was all relatively easy to learn, which meant that I could spend less time simply learning the numerous tricks of the trade, and a lot more time just enjoying myself. Can’t complain there, to be fair.

Slimy Butts

I can’t quite bring myself to say that Bare Butt Boxing is a beautiful work of art, because it clearly lacks the visual appeal of a modern-day sporting exhibition. But, to give credit where it’s due, it isn’t the sort of game to spend every waking moment with its players touting its love for mesmerizing graphical effects, or anything of that nature, for that matter. Suffice it to say, Bare Butt Boxing is as silly as they come, and while that may not exactly appeal to the bog-standard Mortal Kombat-type crowd, it certainly resonates with a lot of fans of weird and wonderful things — and that’s why it’s so darn entertaining. Is it a good–looking game? Eh — I’ve certainly seen a lot worse, if that counts for anything.

I will put my hands up and say this: the game itself is a whole lot of fun to play — especially if you’re a little familiar with unruly brawlers that don’t necessarily take basic logic into consideration when embracing the game’s mechanics. It helps, too, that each of the game’s maps are as equally interactive and vibrant, and not to mention absolutely teeming with plenty of set pieces to chomp through and items to fashion into some form of melee weapon or what have you. As for whether or not these things are enough to warrant a drawn-out romp in its world for several hours is another question, though, given its digestible combat mechanics, I can say that it’s one that’ll probably be able to keep even the most seasoned fans entertained for a single bout or two.

Verdict

I wouldn’t say that Bare Butt Boxing does anything majorly different to the battle arena genre, but it does manage to infuse its own form of identity into the cauldron by delivering a solid combination of comical characters and unique map designs. To say that it’s a  better game than the likes of Gang Beasts is another question, and one that’ll no doubt receive multiple answers depending on the recipient and their personal preferences. Still, it’s worth noting that, while the two games still idle in their respective states, each one practically sports a lot of the same bells and whistles of punching, squashing, and groveling. So, if the thought of watching a squadron of squishy meat bags flailing around a suburban neighborhood sounds like your idea of a good time, then you’re probably going to enjoy this one.

Don’t get me wrong, Bare Butt Boxing does have its own flaws to call its own, too, several of which often spoil an otherwise solid experience. In spite of it being an easy game to digest, it does frequently fall short in terms of how much you can actually do in its sandbox. To say that it offers enough to keep you coming back for several additional exhibitions wouldn’t be entirely true, for it does possesses a novel feel that can quickly become a little too taxing on the brain after a short while. Still, for a game that allows its players to knock out their opponents with little more than their gloves and bare buttocks, I can’t bring myself to complain about it, to be fair.