Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse Review (Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5 & PC)

Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse unlocks a core memory—a time capsule from an age where incremental flesh-eating sandboxes à la Destroy All Humans! were all the rage, and satisfaction came from the simple act of tearing the limbs from a terrified citizen and guzzling brain juices like two-for-one cocktails at a beach resort was the norm. The remastered version, in particular, takes me back to a simpler time, when plots lacked the proper bone structure and the added limbs to create unnecessarily drawn-out experiences. And if I’m being honest, I’m all for the simplicity, as am I all for the idea of chowing down on human remains for a second time.

Two decades have passed, and the sleepy hollow of Punchbowl, Pennsylvania still isn’t as kind to the undead as it was back in 2005. Oh, the citizens might have a better role in the untimely demise of the human race, and the brains of the local mall goers might look a little more appealing to the untrained eye. But, to tell you the truth, Stubbs the Zombie, along with the lollipop inhabitants of Punchbowl, are still representing the same dead skin and frail limbs as before. But hey — at least it has a pulse, right?

Given that this is a remaster of the original and not, say, a full-fledged remake with a complete skeletal overhaul, what you essentially have here is a 1:1 port of Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse. The only major difference with this version of the game is that it fosters a smoother frame rate, a glossier look, and widescreen functionality, along with a generous trove of general quality-of-life updates in both the visual and gameplay departments. But other than that, Stubbs the Zombie is, and rightfully so, a janky third-person feast ‘em up that doesn’t care for the complexities of a modern game.

If you’re unfamiliar with Stubbs the Zombie, then think of it as an undead clone of Destroy All Humans. Better yet, think of it as a role-playing game in which you play as the zombie, and then use your ravenous mind to consume innocent civilians in a 1950s world. In the beginning, you wage a small undead war in the snazzy quarters of Punchbowl—a vibrant city that bleeds three-piece suits and brittle bone marrow. You consume brains, naturally, and you carve deeper into the boroughs, all whilst collecting souls for your army and eliminating threats, like the military, for example. And if you’re wondering whether or not it gets any more interesting than that — it doesn’t.

Dial it back to Ape Escape—a game that centered its entire purpose around finding and catching primates with a net. If you can picture that, then you should have a good idea of how Stubbs the Zombie plays out. Brains, as well as an OST that befits the time and theme, ferries this comical slasher flick forward, and you, being in the front seat, have the opportunity to feast on its peculiarities and, well, build an army of gizzard-gobbling gremlins to help conquer a city. It’s a simple premise I’ll say that much, and it doesn’t do a lot to get your imagination working overtime, either. It’s silly, pulpy, zombie sandbox fluff, and annoyingly, it just works.

Of course, there are no morally gray areas to consider in Stubbs the Zombie. As you have no conscience or indecisive opinions over whether or not to sacrifice the living or tear them limb from limb, what you have in your wake, really, is a sandbox game in which every person and their closest neighbor has to meet the same end. As the zombie, as well as the kingmaker of the undead, it simply falls to you to turn a morbid dream into a deadly reality. If that doesn’t sound like an ambitious nightmare, then I can’t imagine what is.

Gameplay-wise, Stubbs the Zombie is, as its title daringly implies, internally fried — but in a good way. As the antihero of Punchbowl, your sole purpose is to stumble and roam, consume and eradicate the forces of good—the dreary-eyed, petrified inhabitants of the world. With that rather simple goal in mind, the game invites you to traipse through a collection of levels, each containing their own citizens, enemies, and “challenges” for you to overcome, and to expand your undead abilities as you gradually appease your thirst for blood, power, and severed limbs.

To point out the obvious, Stubbs the Zombie is not a serious game. A tad gory, perhaps, but not a full-fledged horror that will likely keep you up at night. No, it’s a little more air-headed than that. A time-appropriate soundtrack illuminates the way forward, and a zombie mindlessly pivots from one point to the next. It’s ridiculously minimal in terms of gameplay mechanics, and it doesn’t do a great deal to reinvent the wheel for the undead horror genre. It is, quite simply, a game that wears its heart on its sleeve and learns to laugh at its own stupidity. And yet, it works.

Verdict

Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse parades its sour green skin and fleshy three-piece suit into a brand-new circuit of brain and bone broth, with more limbs, more grease, and just enough quality-of-life upgrades to make an otherwise unhealthy undead romper stomper with rigor mortis a modern-day feast for the senses. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a silly game that falls into a niche category of lesser known undead IPs, but it is, however, a unique spin on a familiar subject that scratches an itch that not many others have been able to muster up the appetite to accomplish.

While I personally wouldn’t recommend Stubbs the Zombie to someone who’s hell-bent on sinking their teeth into a full-blown apocalyptic zombie horror, I do have a lot of time for its laughably bad quirks and its outdated jank. And so, if you, like me, have a similar itch that has yet to be clawed at, then I’d suggest taking the time to ingest the brains of the Punchbowl hierarchy. It won’t be the best zombie game you’ll play this year, but it’ll definitely be one of the stranger IPs you’ll plummet your prickly green fingers into.