Don’t Mess With Bober Review (PC)

In what should’ve been a short respite from the hustle and bustle of modern city life, a beaver, of all things, was the one wildcard that I least expected to spoil the moment. There was this unusual butterfly effect, you see—a small but important encounter with the dam-building critter that spawned another form of vacation. After that, it was no longer about seeking refuge in a lakeside retreat; it was about seeking sanctuary from a vengeful foe that just wouldn’t quit. “Don’t Mess With Bober”  the local folks would say, fully expecting me to take their words seriously. But at the time, I just couldn’t believe it. For the life of me, I just couldn’t understand how a beaver could cause such severe pain and emotional trauma. But dam, I was wrong. With hindsight, I probably should not have messed with Bober.

I feel like I’m in retelling of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. On the one hand, I’m too stubborn to admit that there’s an issue with the weirdness that’s taking place around the lakeside. But on the other, I feel as if I’ve exhausted all of my options, and that I’ve joked about the situation one too many times that nobody—and I mean nobody, will listen to me if I suddenly change my story. Even still, with nowhere else to go, it seems as if I’ve little choice but to ride the wave and see where things take me. For the time being, I can fish, and I can explore. But as for what’ll happen overnight, well, that’s a bridge that I’d soon rather not cross. And if I know this beaver by now, I can say with confidence that nobody crosses that bridge without paying the toll, annoyingly.

Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t

Don’t Mess With Bober is a first-person walking-thriller hybrid in which you, a downtrodden character who yearns for a bite of the open wilderness to escape the hectic nature of city living, are invited to flee to the outer boroughs of a seemingly isolated woodland. In this woodland grotto, you have a cabin, a plethora of picturesque wooded trails and lakes, and a hidden network of caves and other natural wonders. Of course, if you were to remove the threat from the equation—a crimson-eyed beaver, naturally—then what you would essentially have here is a soothing, almost MSMR-like walking simulator with some great landscape imagery and fishing mini-games to soak up. But, again — the beaver. That darn beaver.

In the forty-plus minute campaign that Don’t Mess With Bober has to offer, you have a couple of tasks that need to be completed, with the most important one being to explore, fish, and gradually unravel the mysteries surrounding the nearby lake and dam. But, as this is also something of a thriller game, too, there is another task that requires your attention: hiding from the titular antagonist as it mindlessly attempts to thwart your progress, and outmaneuvering it as it transforms the quaint world into a sandbox of wall-to-wall hide-and-seek schoolyard games. Naturally, you have your duties to tend to, and the beaver has its own vengeful agenda. It’s the case of juggling both simultaneously, that’s the problem. But we’ll talk more on that in a moment.

The All-Seeing Eye of the Beaver

Don’t Mess With Bober isn’t the longest game in the world; if anything, it sits somewhere between forty minutes and an hour, depending on how you play it and tackle certain obstacles—fishing, exploring, and of course, playing hooky with the all-seeing beaver. With that, there isn’t much for you to unlock on the outside of its fairly liminal plot. The world that it brings to the table, although visually appealing and bursting with captivating landmarks and woodland elements, also isn’t that large, meaning that you don’t necessarily need to travel the beaten path to experience all there is to see and do. Not a massive problem, though it is something that feels worth mentioning, nonetheless.

Mechanically, the game works as it should, with the controls being more lenient to players who are more interested in generic walking simulators than the convoluted UI of an intrusive action-RPG. There isn’t a lot to touch base on with this, to be honest. From a technical standpoint, Don’t Mess With Bober does indeed have a couple of shortcomings, as most of its kind often do. But from my experience, it was never an issue — mopping up the materials and sifting through a relatively short journey to the climax. Would I do it again? Probably not, no. But that isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy going knuckle-to-paw with the beaver. A strange experience, that.

Verdict

Don’t Mess With Bober just goes to show that even the smallest of critters can be as equally threatening and as terrifying as the modern staple monolithic deities. Well, that might be a bit of a stretch, but given that I myself felt awfully uncomfortable with the thought of having to share a lake with a prowling beaver sort of speaks volumes, weirdly. I can’t bring myself to say that it’s the be all, end all of horror games, but I can decipher a good chase sequence when I see one. In this case, it just happens to be a beaver that flies the flag. Go figure.

If you’re looking for a story-rich experience with vast amounts of twists, turns, rich character development and world lore, then the truth is, you’ll probably struggle to unearth any of that here. That said, if you’re the sort of person who gets a quick thrill out of formulaic hide-and-seek segments, then there’s a good chance that you’ll enjoy bolting around the dam and crossing swords with the beaver. Is that enough of an incentive to warrant a trip out to the lakeside? You tell me. For the relatively low asking price, though, I’d like to imagine that it is worth dipping your toes into for an hour or two. Just, eh, don’t expect to develop any strong feelings for beavers and you’ll be fine.