Disaster Band Review (Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5 & PC)

I can only begin to imagine the rapid surge in second-hand embarrassment radiating through the theatre, partly due to the lack of sound quality and, frankly, the lack of prodigies behind the mouthpieces of four slide whistles. It wasn’t that the acoustics were bad, because, to be fair, the sound technicians weren’t the issue; it was the fact that, self-inflated egos cast aside, three of us just couldn’t figure out how to hold a note, let alone string enough of them together to create a moving piece of melodramatic music. As for the fourth performer—me, of all people—well, I like to believe that I had the audience eating out of the palm of my hand, but truthfully, it wasn’t so much that, as it was the fact that they just couldn’t wait to flock to the concession stands. And that, disappointingly, was my first performance in Disaster Band.

Disaster Band is a lot of things, but the one thing that it is not, really, is virtual stage on which you can flex your musical talents and generate celebratory vibes and standing ovations. This isn’t that sort of gig, and it pains me to admit it, but the fact is, nobody sounds good enough to secure a permanent residency at the Royal Albert Hall. No, what this is, is a kindergarten performance that’s a little unorthodox—the same type of performance that, in a real-life situation, would probably cause several parents to switch their cameras off and shudder in their plastic seats until it finalized its crescendo. That, in short, is Disaster Band — and I love it.

Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve caught wind of Disaster Band; it’s already on Steam, funnily enough. However, with its console debut in the air, we thought we’d venture back.

Shackled to the Garage

So, what is Disaster Band, if not a laughable excuse for fledgling musicians to get a little creative with a slide whistle and violin? Well, for starters, it isn’t so much of a Guitar Hero clone as it is, well, mismatched attempt at creating a formulaic rhythm game. And that’s really what it is: a rhythm game at its core, but with the added bonus of a few instruments that you wouldn’t think twice about touching with a barge pole.  But other than that, Disaster Band looks like a rhythm game—to the point of it featuring all of the same scales, nodes, and fretboards—and it plays like one, too, meaning, if you have ever played just about any rhythm game ever, then you’ll probably feel right at home with this one.

Disaster Band is a four-player co-op game, meaning, while you can still roll up to the stage and play on your lonesome, you can also invite up to three other friends to join your carcass of an ensemble and thrash it out for points and perks over a series of classic orchestral pieces. And when I say orchestral pieces, I’m not talking about classical scores that you’d likely hear in some prominent concert venue, but squashed versions of the same tracks, only with the inclusion of some rather dull tones and shockingly poor crescendos. But that isn’t to say that it’s all bad. Well, it is, but with the right amount of time and effort, several of these tracks can sound a little more palatable — even on a friggin’ slide whistle, weirdly enough.

It Sounded Better in My Head

The gameplay mechanics in Disaster Band aren’t as complex as you might imagine. Scratch that, they’re almost too easy to learn, as it’s more or less the case of sliding a wisp up and down a fretboard and landing on certain nodes as each track moves forward. As a result of this, the only thing that you need to do, really, is string the anchor points together to create a sound that’s not quite as, you know, awful. And even then, acquiring all of the right nodes doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to produce a pitch-perfect piece; on the contrary, it will sound bad regardless — but that’s sort of the point: you create terrible things, and learn how to just roll with it.

There is one major downside to all of the above: the lack of content in the soundtrack department. As it turns out, there aren’t all that many levels to play through, which means, while you can return to each segment and attempt to boost your overall score, there isn’t a great deal more to work towards outside of the generic leaderboard that it hosts. In other words, if you’re somewhat hell-bent on spending a dozen or more hours romping back and forth through some lavish campaign that stretches for days, weeks, or even months, then you’ll be sorely disappointed with the lack of material here. Still, that isn’t to say that it isn’t worth taking a look at. And for a few dollars, I mean, can you really go wrong?

The Worst Crescendo in History

If you can accept the fact that everything is going to go downhill from the moment you pick up the bow, then you might just be able to stick around long enough to find some form of consolation prize for your efforts. I say prize as if to reference the numerous rewards that you can acquire for persisting with your musical acts, but what I mean to say is that, staggeringly good performance or not, the best you’ll ever get is a fart of approval or, if you’re really lucky, a second chance to do it all over again. So, not a huge amount of perks, to be fair, but lest we forget that a fart in Disaster Band is the musical equivalent of a standing ovation from a full-paying talent scout. Take it or leave it, I guess?

Of course, if I could add anything to the mix to boost its appeal, I would. As I’ve already mentioned, the lack of levels is the game’s greatest weakness, and it would certainly benefit from having a wealth of additional tracks and playable modes. Alas, it’s more of a one-track ordeal, and so, while it can be fun to jam through in short verses, it is still a novel concept that doesn’t have the same depth as a full-fledged music game. Still, for a game that has the power to generate an infinite wealth of DLC and potential avenues to flesh out its core, there’s nothing to say that a few minor patches or updates here or there wouldn’t elevate its overall value. As for whether or not such things will come to fruition, however, is unclear. Nevertheless, I’ll be waiting for the barrage of farts to signal the encore.

Verdict

As the title suggests, Disaster Band isn’t without its semi-disastrous aspects—a lack of material, and a relatively bite-sized amount of instruments, for instance. However, that isn’t to say that it’s all doom and gloom; in fact, it’s significant lack of content is more often than not overshadowed by a gameplay loop that’s, while incredibly predictable, a great deal of fun to explore with a few friends. Granted, it doesn’t quite have the same appeal as a single-player game, what with a lot of its finer qualities being tied to its multiplayer counterpart, but it’s still an interest concept to play with, nonetheless. To that end, if you’re able to find joy in games like Moving Out, preferably without the addition of extra players, then you should find Disaster Band to be a solid substitute.

As I mentioned earlier on, Disaster Band isn’t a massively expensive game—$4 the last time I checked—so it’s definitely worth considering, even if, say, you harbor a disliking of rhythm-centric co-op indies. The truth is, you’ll probably struggle to squeeze a handful of hours out of Disaster Band, but you will, on the other hand, enjoy whatever seconds or minutes that you do choose to pour into it. The question is, how much do you like the sounds of nails scratching against a chalkboard? If the answer is anything other than “I’d rather defecate in my own hands and clap” — congratulations, you’ve just found your next gig. But, eh, don’t expect it to pay all that well. Saying that, you probably shouldn’t expect anything more than the sound of someone farting in your ear. And they say orchestras are sophisticated. Go figure.