Bench Simulator Review (Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5 & PC)

I must have spent fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to describe Bench Simulator in a way that would make it sound appealing. Funnily enough, I gave up on the sixteenth minute, not because I couldn’t think of anything good to say about it, but because it just felt as if I was overcomplicating things. Initially, I had it in my mind that I would spout out some nonsense about being a fly on the wall, or being a third wheel in a conversation that I had no control over. In the end, I just couldn’t find the right words to describe it, for it was, quite simply, a game about, well, being a bench.

Regrettably, I’ve seen Coconut Simulator, and as much as it pains me to admit it, I know that there’s a market for these kinds of incremental games. Bench Simulator isn’t all that different. Well, it is, in that it has a little more going for it than the average soulless sim — but it’s also a game that, like those that have continued to bleed the cash cow dry for several years, builds on an idea that anyone could quite easily afford to imitate. As its title openly implies, Bench Simulator is all about filling the role of an inanimate object that, with all due respect to the static, nobody would think twice about gamifying. Bench Simulator, in an effort to rectify that dead void, does add some gamification, if only a slither.

Bench Simulator doesn’t put you in the shoes of an aspiring hero, nor does it give you a carrot to chase, a heroine to pursue, or an all-powerful boss to face on the far end of the atlas. Instead, it gives you a shore, a peaceful, albeit slightly melancholic life, and a lot of foot traffic. As a bench, you don’t have the power to move mountains, but rather, to eavesdrop on ordinary  conversations and to add your own two creaks to the subjects at hand. People will stop by, share their tales and their thoughts, and then provide you with a brief opportunity to alter the course of the conversation.

As I said, there isn’t a lot of gameplay to all of this. Like a visual novel, characters tend to come and go, and conversations often shape a narrative that can be loosely altered by brief spouts of dialogue. As a bench, it isn’t in your power to challenge fate, but to listen, to acknowledge the world, and to add small touches to the story. A character may choose to stop by and talk about their deepest, darkest moments, for example. In another scene, a couple may sit awhile to absorb the ambience and to talk about their personal experiences with dating. At times, you can choose to linger on the silence and see how the conversation unfolds, or you can choose to intervene in a way that shifts the tone. Again, though, you are a bench, so your options are pretty limited here. Creaking, really, is one of the few ways you can add your two cents to the subject.

For a game that is quite literally about a bench, it does divulge a lot more than the bog-standard incremental experience. In several situations, you witness common characters talking about melancholic moments—fear, depression, and anxious thoughts pertaining to a dark past. Some folks pass through during midnight, others choose to plod along just as the sun decides to kiss the horizon. The point is, every person who passes along has their own unique perspective on life. It’s simply your job to listen to what others have to say, and to contribute as best as you can under the circumstances.  You can wobble the bench, creak just at the right time, and even force others to end their conversation and leave. Regardless, the process is a simple one, and one that, as far as video games go, isn’t all that difficult to understand. Again, you are a bench; you really don’t need to overcomplicate it.

It’s easy to see why there would be a divide between two factions here. On the one hand, you have a game that knows what it is and essentially couldn’t care less about what it looks like to others. But on the other, you have a rather lightweight indie that is, with all due respect to the creators, about as gimmicky as games come. Does anyone want to be a bench? No. Are you likely to sit on it awhile just to see what all the fuss is about? Probably. Either way, I can safely say that, if you are a little nosy and enjoy listening to random pedestrians’ conversations, then you are probably going to enjoy playing the role of ‘random bench A.’

For the low asking price, I’d say that you should be able to get your money’s worth here. That being said, it is worth taking it with a huge pinch of salt. If, say, you’re expecting a game that is secretly more complex than it presents itself as, then you’re probably going to be disappointed with it. There are no hidden layers to this story, and there are no alternate endings to find. It’s just you, the world, and the sound of your own creaking legs. It’s Bench Simulator — what more could you want?

Verdict

Bench Simulator tries to add an intimate touch to an otherwise pointless inanimate object-based sim, all with the hope of unveiling some personal stories, relatable characters, and emotional subjects. While it might not be Game of the Year material, much less a game that you would happily play twice, it is a heck of a lot better than I expected it would be. Maybe that’s saying something about my preference in incremental video games. Perhaps I’m just tired of the hustle and hustle of the big-city RPGs. Maybe I like the idea of being a bench on the boardwalk. At this point, I haven’t the slightest clue. Thanks, Bench Simulator.