Garten of Banban Series Review (Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5 & PC)

Garten of Banban rewrites the world of mascot horror in the strangest way imaginable, not with the intent to abolish or even undermine it, but to prove a point that even the simplest of things can work under the right circumstances. To call it an advocate for cultism might be an overstatement. To call it a brilliant mascot saga, even, would be an optimistic assessment of what is, in all honesty, a mediocre franchise with a lot of flaws. It isn’t the least bit brilliant, and if we’re being generous, it rarely manages to hit the nail on the head. Though, like a lot of shoddy imitations that dare to emulate the ideologies of a perfect Five Nights at Freddy’s clone, it has this effect on you—a charm, if you will, that gives you a reason to stick around for the long haul.

As I mentioned, Garten of Banban is, above all else, an intentionally average series that learns to laugh at its own mediocrity. The mascots, for example, aren’t the least bit memorable, nor is the voiceover work compelling enough to make you believe that you’re a desperate parent on a quest to find their wayward children in a seemingly idyllic kindergarten. If I’m being honest, it doesn’t do a lot of things with utmost grace and respect, which makes it more of a stab at being a piece of satire than a fully-fledged attempt to rebuild horror from the remnants of a plush-filled pancreas. And yet, Garten of Banban has this odd way of worming its way into the back of your skull. You want to hate it, yet you often find yourself coming back to see where it will head next.

The story is, for lack of a better word, vague. From the moment you arrive at the titular kindergarten setting—a large and flamboyant complex that houses all of the children’s sketch work and Microsoft Paint fonts that you would typically find in a budget indie—you realize that the odds of finding a deep plot with a great backbone are pretty low. Instead, you find a drone, which you can operate and use to hit buttons, smash windows, and interactive with various mini-games, and you have a handful of keycards, which you can use to unlock color-coded doors. But that’s about all that you’re given. There’s a loose plot line that caters to some strange talk about pancreas — but that’s a whole other story that , frankly, you need to hear to believe.

For the most part, the series invites you to venture into the seemingly bottomless clutches of a somewhat sadistic kindergarten. In each chapter—an experience that lasts anywhere from fifteen to sixty minutes—you have a slither of information to work with, as well as a fresh host of characters to meet. Aside from a bunch of letters and drone hats to collect, you have a rather straightforward, albeit occasionally demanding job to do: carving into the kindergarten complex, and slowly but steadily learning about its inner workings. And yes, it does get weirder, especially when you pass the initial chapter and begin to descend into the “abyss.”

To give credit where it’s due, the series has made a lot of necessary adjustments to further enhance several of its greatest weaknesses. In the earlier chapters, for example, you had a worrying amount of broken teeth, with some god-awful visual effects and various puzzles that were unnecessarily difficult to solve. The newer installments in the series, however, have a lot more to offer, with cleaner visuals, smoother gameplay, and a lot of technical polish. Don’t get me wrong, the series as a whole is still awfully shoddy and about as visually  barebones as indie mascot horrors come, but it does have a habit of learning from its past mistakes — and that counts for a lot, truly.

To add to the above, Garten of Banban does come clean with some genuinely creative puzzles and well-paced jump scares. Whilst mostly drone-based, each chapter in the series has delivered some form of hook—a momentary elevation in tension, either in the form of a daring chase sequence or a precision-based puzzle section. And, frankly, these brief spells of originality are needed here, given that most of the experience is largely dependent on exploration, backtracking, and collecting items to unlock new areas.

Of course, there are several pieces of the puzzle that are severely lacking in grace here. Aside from the voice acting being comically bad, you also have a lot of irritatingly shoddy puzzles, several of which require you to repeat the same process multiple times over, and others that, well, don’t make much sense at all. And that’s another thing that Garten of Banban vies to deliver: an inconsistent experience that, for the most part, doesn’t make a lot of sense. In one minute you’re being chased by a mascot, whereas in another you’re befriending them in an attempt to solve a math problem. It’s a little far-fetched and unusual, but that’s sort of what the series is: strange, messy, and unapologetically unorthodox.

While there are some light elements of horror strewn throughout the series, Garten of Banban is just as much of a comedy as it is a full-fledged thriller. Take its frequent use of the word “pancreas” for example, or the simple fact that the dialogue often references teenage twang. Heck, take the fact that the game opts to include Choo Choo Charles in its battle sequences for no reason whatsoever. The point is, there’s a silly franchise here that, when all’s said and done, knows how to act on its funny bone. It’s ridiculous, true. But then, maybe that works in its favor here.

Arguably one of the worst things you could do is put Garten of Banban on the same pedestal as Poppy Playtime, mainly because, mascot blood set aside, you have two incredibly different experiences here. While both series do indeed share a similar theme and plot, you do have to acknowledge the fact that Garten of Banban is a much smaller series with less than half the prowess and depth, technical polish and artistic flair. And yet, flaws cast aside, it still stands tall as fodder for a favorable franchise. It’s messy, and it lacks the power of a big-budget horror, true. But then, maybe that’s a breath of fresh air that you need.

Verdict

Garten of Banban doesn’t reinvent the wheel with its intentionally shoddy pancreas-padded kindergarten curriculum, though it does manage to age like a fine wine, with a blueprint that is, for the most part, fit for purpose and capable of adapting to a modern field of budget horrors. Oh, it’s still incredibly janky, and it doesn’t quite come through with flawless facets to flesh out its plot or characters. That said, I can see the appeal here, and more importantly, the potential that it has as the underdog of mascot horrors.

Of course, if you’re all for the idea of plunging into the depths of the abyss and tangling with a host of weird yet annoyingly lovable characters, then you might want to consider Garten of Banban as a good choice for scratching “that” itch. It won’t amaze you, but it is likely to steal your pancreas. Don’t ask.