Game of Grass Review (PC)

I figured a game about slicing through bales of grass would be a bit like watching magnolia paint dry — but, to my astonishment, it wasn’t. Well, I wasn’t that far from hitting the nail on the notion, but I did come to learn that such a pointless concept could generate a lot of gratifying work. It was as described on the tin: a game where you literally hack through pixelated grass with a sword, and use a passive income from crops, gems, and other agricultural cannons to essentially bulk out your backyard and the blades that fill it. Did the so-called Game of Grass cough up any more than that? Not really, no — but it blew the act of watching paint dry out of the water, that’s for sure.

It all started with a small allotment and something of a malnourished patch of grass—a rather depressing sight that didn’t offer much tranquil detail, I’ll admit. After a few well-overdue haircuts, though, it began to transform into something else—a bulkier field, with chunkier fistfuls of grass and the opportunity for a better, healthier yard with thrice the crops and more trees to produce natural rarities. An hour or so later, I had it all; I established a self-sustaining allotment that could generate stupidly large amounts of grass, and enough cash to pay for better weapons for trimming. About twenty minutes after that, I pondered a rather simple question: What was the point? Fast forward a little further down the line, and I still don’t have an answer to that question. Go figure.

I’ve been wracking my brain these past few hours trying to figure out whether or not it was worth the time I spent on it. Honestly, though, I don’t think it was. Or was it?

Like Watching Grass…Dry?

Game of Grass boasts an immensely satisfying grass-cutting gameplay experience — which is strange, given that it is, quite literally, a game that centers its entire world around, you know, grass. Suffice it to say, it doesn’t exactly beat around the bush (pun intended); if anything, it cuts right to the chase and lays all of its tools on the workbench in the first two minutes. I can’t fault that; it’s better to know what you’re getting yourself into than to be spoon fed a bunch of jargon about potential outcomes or irrelevant details. It’s a game about cutting grass, and using said grass to grow—you guessed it—more grass. And if you’re beginning to wonder whether or not this is an idea that translates well into a video game — eh, it sort of does, annoyingly.

I suppose Game of Grass doubles up as an idler game, mainly due to the fact that it still finds fresh ways to bring your wealth even when you’re not actively dicing up cabbage patches and other jolly green goodies. For example, if you successfully manage to plant things like mushrooms or trees, you will, over time, generate gems and fruits, which allow you the opportunity to unlock new weapons, and essentially expand the yard to attract more grass. And that’s all that you’re doing here: amassing wealth to create a flourishing yard. Is there a point to it? Absolutely not. So tell me, why did I choose to stick around for more time than I should have?

Cutting Ties

Game of Grass is one of those sorts of games—a game that you find yourself slugging through at two o’ clock in the morning, wondering where it all went wrong whilst you mindlessly hovel over your progress in an attempt to justify the absurd amount of effort that you’ve spent on it. That said, there is a fun little game here, weirdly. It’s a bit like your typical idler sim; it makes late-game benefits seem worth a lot more than they actually are by introducing bite-sized incentives to incentivize your travels and to coerce you into continuing down the same route. With a new weapon upgrade here, or a revenue-boosting jewel there, it gives you a reason to stay the course. But like all idler sims, it culminates in an anticlimax. No real surprise there, to be honest.

I will put my hands up and say this: the act of cutting grass and earning rewards is incredibly satisfying. It’s an easy job that pays the bills. And I suppose it helps, too, that it also offers a pixel-powered bullet hell for you to gaze upon while you aimlessly slash into the terrain. The option to “prestige” is also a pretty good gimmick, even though it does essentially dial back your progress and force you to restart with a clean slate. With more buffs and upgrades for you to bring into the next yard (and not to mention a continuous stream of fledgling visitors to help sweeten the pot), though, I guess it does provide you with a sense that you are making some level of progress.

Verdict

Carving through the thick of Game of Grass is an incredibly pointless exercise, I’ll admit. But it’s also one that, annoyingly, continues to surprise you the more you devote your time to cutting through it with whatever tools you can fashion from the fat of the land. With a sizable selection of weapons to unlock, blades of grass to chomp through, and a litter of bite-sized incentives that range from gem-spitting trees to revenue-boosting mushrooms to discover, it’s doubtful that you will struggle to get your hands dirty with Game of Grass. I can’t dispute that, weirdly.

While it’s certainly no secret that Game of Grass is an unnecessary extension to the idler genre, it is, as much as it pains me to admit it, a game that actually offers a lot of therapeutic benefits. It’s the sort of game that you could quite easily unwind to after a long day of grafting in an alternate universe. The only negative here is that, even with the above benefits in place, you could still sweep the majority of the game’s content beneath the rug in as little as three or four hours. As for whether or not you think that this is worth the price tag of five bucks is another question. Either way, I think we can all agree that it’s a great alternative to watching magnolia paint dry. Right?