Normal Golf Game Review (PC)

Remember that scene from Happy Gilmore where the ball just miraculously ricocheted across vast flumes, signs and construction pipes, all before sinking a hole-in-one? Well, Normal Golf Game is a bit like that. Or, at least that’s what I think it is. Frankly, between the act of volleying a ball against a mysterious gong and losing a hundred grand for an admission fee, I’m a bit unsure of what it is. Is it a golfing game? Sure. Is it a game that sits on the same fence as PGA Tour? No. Is it likely to inspire you to purchase a nine iron to hit the course? Again, no. However, it might just make you develop a fondness of the green. Lucas’ version of the green, on the other hand, can go to hell.

There was a time where I could sink a perfect put in a game like PGA Tour. But, Normal Golf Game isn’t a place that grants you the freedom to lean on existing habits or hone your skills. Rather, it’s a hellhole in which you have no choice but to learn the language of the putter, accommodate an algorithm that makes no sense, and wax poetic with a club owner who, for a reason that’s never quite explained to you, has no intention of ever letting you leave the green. Lucas wants you to play golf. Or at least, dabble in the usual nine holes and then, well, tend to other matters on the far end of the course. It’s all a little strange, but that’s sort of what it aims for.

Speaking of strange, Normal Golf Game tells a short but oddly captivating tale. Without clueing you in on the details, it tells you that you are, whether you like it or not, a prisoner on a golf course. You have no right to leave said course, and the only money in your back pocket is required to play. With that, you find yourself in a bit of a sticky situation: the $100k in your bank account is gone, and the only way for you to earn a living is to, well, play golf. Play golf, and of course, dice up the occasional flying fruit. But, more on that later.

Of course, if you think you’re a competent golfer, then you should probably take Normal Golf Game with a pinch of salt, for it isn’t, in fact, normal. Thanks to the world of physics, what you essentially have here is an unnecessarily complicated system that requires—no, demands you to juggle more moving pieces than the common caddy. Rather than presenting you with a simple series of swing mechanics, a strength bar, and a curve indicator, Normal Golf Game opts to saddle you with a little more weight. Hitting the ball should be an easy task, especially for a “pro” golfer. But here, it’s a painful experience that, more often than not, results in a muddy club, a turfed up green, and a ball on the other side of the Backrooms. It isn’t a walk in the park at all.

On paper, Normal Golf Game sounds straightforward. But the truth is, nothing could be more irritatingly complex. Even if you have the basic skill set of a PGA Tour player, little can prepare you for the emotional turmoil that comes with Normal Golf Game. See, each put requires you to consider a lot of things—your club, your posture, the angle, the strength and speed, and the tiniest details that you wouldn’t normally think twice about. To that end, most of your controller becomes a club. A trigger might activate one thing, but the joysticks will likely throw the proverbial spanner in the works to make your swing indescribably weaker than the average cardboard cutout of a wedge.

Finicky controls aside, there is a satisfying game here, believe it or not. As you gradually master the controls and develop a knack for the multi-layered boxes, the nine-hole course becomes a bit of a doddle. Only, the nine holes are but a mere fraction of what Normal Golf Game has to offer. See, there is a bit more to the game than carelessly volleying balls around the green and sinking the odd fluke. For example, you can—and this isn’t even the weirdest part of the whole ordeal—slice watermelons for pocket change. You can also take part in various challenges across the course, too. An example here would be the gongs, the seemingly irrelevant signs, and the haywire fruit. True to the spirit of an eccentric game, Normal Golf Game isn’t one for towing the line; it wants you to get creative with your time on the green, and it wants you to earn cash in more ways than one.

Against all odds, Normal Golf Game is a pretty good game. Frustrating, yes, but also a lot of fun to switch off to and grate on for three hours, nonetheless. It’s fun, not because it pours a lot of additional content into an otherwise belt-and-braces golfing session, but because it provides a lot of comical moments for you to brazenly marvel at. If, say, you’re not pulling your hair out over a missed shot, then you’re giggling at the jiggle physics, the random challenges and Lucas’ bizarre ideologies. Again, it’s all a little far-fetched, but it’s also (and it pains me to say this) a surprisingly well-rounded golf game.

The bottom line here is this: if you enjoy games that tug on your nerves and occasionally compensate you with the odd burst of humor or illogical plaything, then you will more than likely get a kick out of sinking a few puts in Normal Golf Game. Take it all with a grain of salt, though. If you want to feel like the next Tiger Woods, then you should stick with PGA Tour.

Verdict

Normal Golf Game’s blend of twisted humor, physics-based gameplay and illogical storytelling collectively make for a surprisingly engaging, albeit unnecessarily frustrating experience that you will both love and hate for all of the right reasons. Paired with some intuitive, albeit bizarrely complex mechanics, oddly creative challenges and an overarching tale of misfortune, it all makes for an ideal bathroom-squandering experience. It might not be PGA Tour, but then, maybe it doesn’t need to be.