An Eggstremely Hard Game Review (PC)

It’s as if Log Riders and Egging On have accidentally conceived a child and, without thinking twice about the consequences, made a conscious decision to brand their unborn chick as the biggest thorn in their side. Or at least, that’s what I’m pulling from it. If there’s a metaphor for good parenting here, then I’ve honestly yet to find it. At this point, sweat, anger, and anxious thoughts prevail over paternal health, and there’s little I can do to stop it.

In my eyes, An Eggstremely Hard Game is a thorn in the side. It might promote something that is slightly heartier and more morally sound, but to tell you the truth, I’m unable to see through the red mist that has taken over from former paternal instincts. Blame the rage game trend — it’s always the fault of the fad. It just so happens to be a goose, an egg, and a world of rickety obstacles that weave these strings and strike the wrong nerves. Eat your heart out, Untitled Goose Game.

I get it. Parenting isn’t a picnic. And honestly, one of the toughest parts about it, particularly during the postnatal phase, is getting the child from the ward to their home. I remember it all too well, too—the long, long drive, and not to mention the endless rants and complaints about other reckless drivers. At that point, I hated everyone. I wanted to bring my child home, but a sea of roadblocks and incompetent drivers made it so that even the slightest hiccup would immediately hit the wrong chord in a sleep-deprived vessel. Anger, stress, and fear drove me from the hospital. But, of all the things in the world, it was An Eggstremely Hard Game that brought me back to the check-in desk.

If you’re wondering why I’m talking about postnatal care and the womb-to-ward process, well, that’s partly because An Eggstremely Hard Game is quite simply the digital equivalent of both. Two geese; one egg; and a conveyor belt of roadblocks and critters. Frankly, it’s the same gig. As one of two parents, it falls to you to battle through your sleep deprivation and bring that basket of joy (or the lovable thorn in your side) back to their rightful home. And yes, you can honk — just not from the front seat of a vehicle.

It doesn’t require a lot of effort to crack a rage game. In fact, you can more or less decipher one in less than fifteen seconds, give or take. Against the setting of a seemingly harmless world, you strongly believe that the journey will be a walk in the park. As time starts to take its course, however, the cracks eventually begin to appear, and that same walk soon begins to feel less like a merry dance along the primrose trail and more of an anxious jiggle across eggshells — literally. A slip of the hand reveals that life is fragile, and that one wrong move is enough to send your chick back to the ward. The frustration soon takes hold, and that friend who you thought was an ideal co-parent becomes your worst enemy.

Similar to Log Riders (or any other rage-baiting co-op game, for that matter), An Eggstremely Hard Game is all about owning your mistakes. Or at least, it’s about learning from your mistakes in a positive manner that doesn’t directly impact your friendship. The goal seems easy enough to achieve, but the act of fulfilling your purpose is anything but simple. With a world of treacherous things and ungodly obstacles to test you, you don’t just have a job to do; you have a chance to prove that even the most incompetent of geese folk can overcome the pressure of being a parent. Granted, it doesn’t cut that deep, but you get the idea.

Here’s the good news: comedy is a bonus here. Unlike your traditional Getting Over It doppelgänger, you do have something to laugh about in this particular nest. Conceptually, it’s a pain in the neck, as is the task of banding together to carry a nest through a ravine of hazardous materials. Though, there are small bouts of joy in this universe. If you can breathe through the pain and suffering, for example, then you can, after so long, learn to love and embrace the headaches. But it comes at a price, and that price is, of course, physics.

The idea behind the game is straightforward: to carry a nest through a vibrant world of creatively tedious obstacle courses—raging rapids, narrow bridges, and swinging tires, for example. As one of two geese, you don’t have the power to change the world, only to take one step at a time and to work as one to ensure the safety of your egg. If you make a mistake, then the egg takes a hit, and the journey becomes a lot tougher. It’s a simple idea, but, like Egging On, it unlocks a fear of creating one too many eggshells. You don’t want to break it, but you know deep down that you will. And, let’s be honest, that is all a rage game wants to do: smash your egg to smithereens.

As I said, if you can look beyond the stress and grief, then you should be able to find some sort of comfort in a game like this. That said, it’s best to take it with a huge pinch of salt. Frankly, if you’re unable to see past the headaches and find a slither of light in the horror, then you might struggle to embrace your newfound responsibilities as a feathered parent. To that end, I’d say that it’s a tough one to call. Don’t let the feathers and the vibrant colors fool you. Parenting, believe it or not, is a heck of a lot easier if you’re a human.

Verdict

An Eggstremely Hard Game honks and hollers at the rage-obsessed community in an attempt to present its own eggshells to the Getting Over It club. Armed to the feathers with its own vibrant landscape and tricky terrain, it openly embraces the anger-inducing tropes to formulate a new kind of headache. Annoyingly, it works, too. Sure, it’s a thorn in the side — but that’s a postnatal experience, in a nutshell. At least in this ward you have a co-parent who can share the weight.