You know, it’s crazy to think that simulation games gradually spiralled from toying with life in general — to customizing a goat and rolling it down a hill. I don’t know how it happened — but it happened. And yes, I’m still just as shocked as you as to how some of these titles even made it past the board. But having said that, when you strip away the absurdities of the odd entry to the genre — what you’re left with is weirdly promising experiences. At least most of the time, anyway.
Simulation games have been handing out the keys to unlock second lives for decades now, and yet we still haven’t quite had our fill. Being a goat is great and everything — but what other doors can we unlock with our bulky set of keys? How far can developers push the boundaries before finally calling it a day? The questions are all there, and they’re only continuing to rack up with each passing year. But as it stands today, however, we’re left to employ whatever is available to us. And with that, we think these five doors are definitely the ones that are worth opening.
5. Bee Simulator
So, you want to be a bee? Well, you’re in luck — because they’re hiring. Thanks to Varsav Game Studios, the life of the apoidean can become yours to control in some of the most remarkable settings to ever grace the simulation genre. Of course, being a honey bee, your sole responsibility and purpose in life is to collect pollen and contribute towards your bustling hive. Apart from that, you can expect to clash with a few greedy wasps along the way — all of which you’ll have to overcome on your journey to serenity. But hey — details, details.
Bee Simulator, as well as boasting an enchanting single-player story, also hosts a 4 player co-op mode, in which you can form an alliance to tackle your earthly foes. On top of that, the quirky simulation game also generates a wealthy amount of knowledge surrounding the little insects that will keep you second-guessing from beginning to end. So, quite the weighty tale for something so dainty.
4. I Am Bread
Prepare to make a dozen rounds of toast — because you’re about to step into the simple life of a bread slice. That’s right — a bread slice. What more can I say about it? Your looming goal here is to take control of all four corners of a piece of bread and pop it in the toaster — or whatever else you can find that will effectively burn your hero to a crisp. The only caveat, of course, is that you’re not allowed to get it dirty, otherwise, it’ll be deemed inedible and ultimately worthless. Seem fair? Well, not really.
I Am Bread, despite its rather childish appearance and family-oriented gameplay, is perhaps one of the most frustrating simulation games on the market. Sure, it’s addictive in its own ways, but controlling the slice can either sway you to success or draw you to impending doom with each passing turn. With all of that in mind, I Am Bread is still a worthy contender and an overall blast for players looking for a quick challenge.
3. Goat Simulator
If you thought controlling a piece of bread wasn’t weird enough, then perhaps Goat Simulator is more up to your speed. Although as equally strange as other animal simulators on the market, Coffee Stain Studios definitely ramped up the insanity a few notches with their addition to the genre. But then, what more can you expect from a game that revolves around rampaging goats? Seems like the perfect recipe for success in our books.
Goat Simulator, which is essentially another way of saying ‘public nuisance simulator’, is probably the craziest game you’ll ever feast your eyes on. Not only does it shovel in explosive action and genuinely stimulating gameplay, but also a whole range of things to do as the raging antihero. From terrorizing the suburban townsfolk to playing the ragdoll in oncoming traffic, unearthing the secret jetpack to setting the world on fire — filling the hooves of the anarchist has never been more entertaining.
2. Granny Simulator
If you’re wanting to get a second player involved in your simulation journey — then Granny Simulator should definitely make your list at some stage or another. Of course, being a platform for you to essentially thrash it out with an arsenal of household objects is a reason in itself to invest in such a ludicrous adventure. But then, there is far more to this crazy simulator than mindlessly beating one another to a pulp over spilt milk.
One player assumes the role of the poor granny, whose only goal is to shovel through the daily agenda with as little stress as remotely possible. The second player, as expected, plays the role of the mischievous toddler, whose sole purpose is to torment and, quite frankly — kill the pensioner that wanders the halls of your family home. Together, as the oddest duo to ever touch the sim world, both you and a friend can forge the strangest tales revolving around the two unlikely relatives.
1. House Flipper
If property development is your forte and you’re really itching to spew new life into an old home — then now is your chance to lay roots as a house flipper. With a whole neighbourhood and bustling city centre generating enough eyesore landmarks to ruffle a few architectural feathers, it’s up to you, the overly ambitious jack of all trades, to restore life into the former properties and bring the structures back into the 21st century. How it’s done, of course, is entirely up to you.
Before even thinking about handing over the keys to the new owner, you can most definitely expect a few boxes to be filled along the way. From the faulty wiring that courses through the veins of the property to the very smudges that shroud every window and mirror, House Flipper will have you on your hands and knees as you polish every minor detail on the road to becoming the go-to flipper on the market.